Resources

Many informative articles were published in our parish newsletters in the years prior to Covid. Email to the friends and faithful of Holy Cross has replaced our newsletters, but many of the articles are collected here. Use the indexes below to find the topic or author you’re interested in. (Once you click on a topic or author, scroll to the bottom of the page to see the search results.)

Also, have a look at the Recommended Readings on the OCA (Orthodox Church in America) website for a list of books covering a wide range of topics. Essential Orthodox Christian Beliefs: A Manual for Adult Instruction is also available for free download on the OCA’s website.

(Speaking of our parent jurisdiction, the OCA traces its origins to the arrival in Kodiak, Alaska in 1794 of eight Orthodox missionaries from the Valaamo Monastery in the northern Karelia region of Russia. Today, the OCA includes some 700 parishes, missions, communities, monasteries, and institutions throughout the United States, Canada, and Mexico.)

We hope you’ll find these suggested readings to be both edifying and encouraging!

Fr Alexander Shargunov 10/29/25 Fr Alexander Shargunov 10/29/25

Entry of the Holy Theotokos Into the Temple

It all begins with an idea.

Archpriest Alexander Shargunov

November 2016

The feast of the Entry of the Holy Theotokos into the temple is a marvelous model of our entry into the Heavenly Kingdom. The church itself symbolizes the Kingdom of God on earth. In church we see the altar table, which is like a throne on which the Lord God sits, just as He does on His heavenly throne. In church, through the partaking of holy communion, we become united with the Lord Himself. In church, as in heaven, we are surrounded by hosts of angels and saints. In church, by means of the divine services we glorify God, as do the angels and saints in heaven.

When the righteous Joachim and Anna brought the Holy Virgin to the temple, they offered to the Lord a gift that was most pure.

So should we, in order to enter the Heavenly Realm, be absolutely pure, because the Lord Himself said that nothing unclean can enter the Kingdom of God. But we can cleanse ourselves of our sins and all manner of spiritual impurity only through the sacrament of penitence, through confession and communion.

As the righteous parents of the Holy Virgin prepared to take Her to the temple, they first dressed Her in royal garments, adorned Her, and provided Her with an escort of maidens carrying lighted candles. So should we, in order to enter the Heavenly Realm, first clothe our souls in the garment of obedience to the Lord’s commandments, adorn our souls with virtues, and accompany them with the lighted candles of prayer and charity.

Upon arriving at the temple, the 3-year-old Infant Mary had to make an effort to ascend 15 high steps in order to enter the temple. So should we, in order to enter the Heavenly Realm, make the effort to ascend the ladder of virtues, to labor at fasting and prayer. The Holy Virgin went up the steps by Herself, without any help from others, but with the miraculous help of God. So should we, in our attempt to attain the Heavenly Realm, make the effort ourselves, but constantly asking God for help along the way.

Such is the lesson we receive from this wondrous holiday! The Holy Mother of God, by entering the temple, clearly shows us the Way, and through the earthly temple lies the way into the heavenly temple, the Kingdom of God. Let us follow the Holy Theotokos into the temple, into the church. Now is the time of the Nativity fast, a time for preparing oneself to greet the Saviour on earth, a time for purifying oneself through fasting, prayer and repentance, a time of increased church attendance. Let us not pass by this important period of time, for from this holiday, and throughout the entire Nativity fast, we will hear in church the joyous tidings of our coming salvation, we will hear the joyous appeal: “Christ is born - glorify Him!”

* * *

The Entry of the Holy Theotokos into the Temple is one of the twelve major church feasts and is numbered among those that affect our salvation. What takes place on this day? The three-year-old Child, the Most-holy Virgin Mary, is brought by Her parents to the temple of Jerusalem. She is placed on the temple steps and, moved by Divine revelation, the high priest Zacharias comes out to Her and leads Her into the Holy of Holies – the place where God Himself was mysteriously present, the place which no man could ever enter except the high priest, who, moreover, went in only once a year and not without sacrificial blood. And it is precisely this place, the Holy of Holies, which the Virgin Mary enters, invisibly carrying within Herself a new, living sacrifice – the forthcoming Christ, Saviour of the world, Who will sacrifice Himself in order to deliver all men from sin and death.

This holiday is “wondrous,” as sings the Church, not finding words to express the inexpressible joy, hope and expectation which commence with today’s event.

From a mysterious and grace-filled seed there will grow up a new covenant between God and man. The Saviour’s most-pure, animate temple – the Most-holy Maiden, precious bridal chamber, sacred treasure of God’s glory – is led into the Lord’s temple. And She brings with Her the foreshadowing of God’s goodwill to all of mankind, the beginning of a new covenant between God and man, the end of the many centuries of man’s alienation from God, and the end of our bondage to sin. Only a brief time remains, only several more years, for the fulfillment of that which the entire humanity awaits – the appearance of God Himself in the flesh, by way of the Most-holy Virgin.

She will be brought up in God’s temple – a place of holiness, purity and the power of God. She will be nourished by Divine grace, in order to become capable of containing Divinity Itself, so that the mystery of God’s incarnation could take place through Her. She must become used to conversing with the angels, in order to harken to the Archangel Gabriel’s glad tidings. She must encompass God within Her heart, in order to truly become a new temple of God.

We are all familiar with the words of the Apostle Paul: “Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you? If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.” This mystery is revealed to us because we are called upon to become the temples of God, and this is the reason for today’s celebration.

Today’s feast reminds us of the unique significance of man-made temples (i.e. churches). Let us ponder today: what is a church of God? When we come here today to celebrate the feast, we not only participate in wondrous hymn-singing, but we touch upon eternity, which is always present in a church of God. And nothing else in life makes sense except in the light of eternity. We should ponder this and repent of how often we remain deaf and blind to these great mysteries, and reject God’s gifts.

The Church cannot save us by itself. For our salvation we must actively participate in church life. The Lord calls upon us today to think of this, and to see the sinful condition in which each one of us lives. The Lord continues to await our repentance. He continues to patiently tolerate our detrimental lack of faith, and continuously wishes to enfold us within His grace, in order that we may be saved from the terrible misfortunes that are coming upon the world.

And we know that the Most-holy Virgin Mary, Mother of the suffering mankind that is being destroyed by its sins, will surely intercede for all those who appeal to Her with faith and love, and who offer their lives unto Her.

Let us thank God that our churches are still standing, and that the Lord and the Mother of God are present in them along with us. We magnify Thee, O Most-holy Virgin, God-chosen Maiden, and we honor Thine Entry into the Temple of the Lord.

The feast of the Entry of the Holy Virgin Mary, the Mother of God, into the temple is a feast of the Church itself. It is also a feast of all of us, because the Holy Virgin, ascending the steps of the temple of Jerusalem, presages not only Her future life, Her ascension into the Holy of Holies, but also presages the affiliation of mankind with Christ’s way of the cross and with His Resurrection. This feast tells us that the Mother of God, Who now enters the Holy of Holies, is even greater than the Holy of Holies. By the grace of God She is more honorable than the cherubim and beyond compare more glorious than the seraphim. She is above all creation. And not only by the grace of God, but by the hope of all of mankind, which has rushed towards this light, towards this holy of holies, towards this focal point of life and the source of life itself – the Lord – through the darkness of ages, through all sorrows, through all the sins and horrors of history.

The entry of the Most-holy Mother of God into the Holy of Holies is revealed to us as the path each one of us must take. It has been said: “The virgins that follow Her shall be brought unto the king, Her companions shall be brought unto Thee” (Psalm 45:14). This has been said about every person and primarily about children. For this reason children participate in a special way in today’s feast along with us. This is always very joyful, because if everyone were to participate in what the Lord gives us, our entire being would be transformed. The salvation which the Lord grants us depends on our offering of our children and on our own lives. It also depends primarily on how we lead our children through life, for what we prepare them and to what we actually dedicate them. What Joachim and Anna did was a great labor of love. Having been barren their entire life, they gave up their sole daughter. They gave Her to God, dedicated Her to the Lord, as though they separated Her from themselves, in order that She belong entirely to God alone.

What Joachim and Anna have done, offering to God the fruit of their prayers, far exceeds any spiritual labors that we could set up as an example. But let us ponder the following: often we find ourselves in a situation similar to these people – Joachim and Anna, – when misfortune befalls us, when we are in need, when we are ready to promise the Lord everything, say all kinds of words of love, just so He would help us, would deliver us from such a state. And then sorrow passes, need passes. But when the time comes to fulfill our promise, we begin to vacillate. We begin to delay the fulfillment of our own words: “I will definitely do this, Lord, only I pray Thee, do such-and-such for me, what I ask of Thee…”. And for this reason our life turns out to be barren. It is barren not in terms of childlessness (although that may also be possible), but in a deeper and more significant sense.

Thinking about this, we should pray today to the Lord and the Mother of God that we may be granted the grace of understanding that we have a true life, that we may be aware that the event which the Church celebrates today is the entry of the holy 3-year-old maiden into the Holy of Holies and Her sanctification by the grace of God for Her future encompassing of God the Word. And all of this for the fulfillment of the sacrament of God’s incarnation and for our salvation, which is already coming to pass. For it is not in vain that we sing: “Christ is born – glorify Him, Christ descends from heaven – meet ye Him.”

Remember that our salvation has actually come to pass already, and it is not only a remembrance. Over and over again we are given the Lent and the approach to the Nativity of Christ in order for our life to become truly more profound, truly deepen with the knowledge of the one unique mystery – that God has become man, that He is present in the life and destiny of each one of us. He always hears our every prayer, because there is no longer that curse which used to hang over every person, there is no longer that inescapable and ineffaceable stamp of evil which tainted mankind before Christ’s incarnation. The way to heaven is open to every person. We must only desire and want genuine truth, genuine beauty, and the light which had once shone for us, the light which the Lord sometimes gives back to us, and without which everything becomes extinguished.

What can we bring to the Lord on this feast day? The parents of the Most-holy maiden Mary – Joachim and Anna – brought Him their own child, but what shall we give the Lord? Does the One to Whom belongs the entire earth and before Whom all the stars in heaven shine need the candles and the vigil lights which we offer to God? They are needed only to testify to the meaningfulness of our prayers and our standing before God. There are no other sacrifices which we can offer Him except one, of which He says: “Son, give Me thy heart,” because our heart is the only thing which does not yet fully belong to Him. He has given us His own heart and wishes us to give Him ours. He, Who loves us and gives all of Himself for us, is waiting for our love in return.

Let us pray to God that we may learn this love. Every person understands what reciprocal love is, and how terrible is unrequited love. It is precisely love which each person needs, every human soul needs. And the Lord Himself needs us to love Him with all our heart, all our thoughts, all our strength, our entire life. And to love God means to keep His commandments, as He Himself has said. Only when we keep His commandments can we learn what this all means and of what kind of love Christ is speaking. Only then can we learn this love and be worthy of the Lord, be able to stand up for Christ’s honor in this world where childhood, purity, and sanctity are being defiled. And this we can accomplish only when we go to church and receive God’s grace there, which is always given as long as we are turned towards the Lord.

Let us entreat the Lord for this incorruptible wealth, which He bountifully grants to all of us by the prayers and intercession of the Holy Theotokos. Let us also entreat Him for the ability to respond to His immeasurable gifts with our love, our entire life, the offering of our children to Him. And most precious of all – the unity which we achieve through Him. Amen.

St John of Kronstadt 10/29/25 St John of Kronstadt 10/29/25

The House of God

It all begins with an idea.

Homily on the Day of the Entry of the Theotokos into the Temple

St. John of Kronstadt

November 2013

Translated by Nun Cornelia (Rees)

Let us faithfully praise the Virgin Mary,
for she is brought into the Holy of Holies,
to be raised in the Lord. (Ekos from Matins)

On this day, my brethren, the holy Church celebrates the solemn Entry into the temple in Jerusalem of the three-year-old child, Mary—the blessed daughter of righteous parents, Joachim and Anna—to be in instructed in the Lord. Zacharias—the elder and high priest—meets her with priestly splendor; and as he was instructed to do by the Spirit of God, he brings her, accompanied by young maidens, into the most interior part of the temple, the Holy of Holies, where the high priest himself enters but once a year, and where the Holy of Holies, the Lord Himself dwelt—for she was to become the Mother of His flesh.

How did the most blessed Virgin spend her time in the temple? Taught the Hebrew written language and prayer by the Holy Spirit through the maidens, she spent her time in prayer, reading of the word of God (as you can see on the icon of the Annunciation), in divine contemplation, and handiwork. Her love for converse with God and for reading the word of God was so great that she forgot about food and drink, and an Archangel brought her heavenly food at God’s request, as the Church sings in the stichera for today’s feast.

What an excellent example for fathers, mothers, and their children; for Christian maidens and youths! They are obligated as followers of the Lord Jesus Christ, as servants of the Heavenly Queen, the Mother of God, and Founder of Spiritual Instruction1 (meaning the Church to which they belong), to emulate as well as they can her fervent love for God, her zeal for reading the word of God, for prayer, for divine contemplation, self-restraint, and love of labor! If we do not want to be falsely called spiritual members of Christ’s Church—that holy House of God, the Queen and Mother of which is the Most Holy Virgin—then we should also have the same thoughts as She has. May her children by grace be of one spirit with Her! Let them learn from her how to love the Lord, our Creator, more than anything else in the world, more than father and mother, more than anyone dear to us; how to avidly study the word of God—something unfortunately not seen amongst the disciples of Jesus Christ; learn with what warmth of heart and love we must pray to the Lord; how we must dedicate ourselves to him wholeheartedly; how to entrust our fate to His wise and all-good Providence; with what purity, meekness, humility, and patience we must always clothe and adorn ourselves and not with the vain embellishments of this adulterous and sinful world which knows no bounds of luxury and elegance in bodily clothing; how to love a life with God and the saints more than to dwell in the tents of sinners (Ps. 83:11).

Since the Most Holy Virgin was brought into the temple to be instructed in the Lord, let us talk now about the benefit and necessity of going to the church of God as the house of God and place where we are raised for the Heavenly Fatherland. We are called Christians, and we are all called by Jesus Christ to the Heavenly Fatherland, to be heavenly citizens, Divine inheritors, co-inheritors with Christ. Our calling is very high, our duties are also just as important; our spirit should be very exalted, holy, meek, and humble.

Who will show us what makes up our Christian calling and duty, of what spirit we must be, and how we should behave ourselves in various life situations? Who will give us the strength to live in the spirit of Christ—holy? The Church gives us all this. We can receive these spiritual powers in the temple of God through the Sacraments. Here a heavenly, unearthly spirit hovers; here is the school of Jesus Christ, in which future heavenly citizens are educated. Here you will receive heavenly lessons from the Divine Teacher, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit in the Gospels. Here is heavenly food and heavenly drink, spiritual, heavenly garments, and spiritual armaments against the enemies of salvation. Here you will receive the peace that is a foretaste of heaven, so necessary to our spiritual activity and education, and strength for spiritual labors and struggle with sin. Here we partake of sweet conversation with our Heavenly Father and the Most Holy Queen and Mother of God, with the angels of the Lord and saints. Here we learn how to pray, and for what to pray. Here you will find examples of all the Christian virtues in the saints who are glorified each day by the Church. Here, gathered together in the house of God, as children of one Heavenly Father, as members of the mystical body of Christ, we learn how to love one another—member loving member, as members of Christ, as Christ Himself.

See how beneficial, how necessary it is for a Christian to visit God’s church. It is a school of faith and piety founded by God, a sacred treasure According as His divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness (2 Pet. 1:3), the treasury of all the Mysteries of Christ! But the benefit and necessity for the Christian of attending God’s church is more clearly revealed by comparing the church with the vain world, to which we prefer to go instead of church. What do you find in the world, and what in church?

In the world, at every step there is vanity, delusion, and vice; in the church is truth, sanctity, and every kind of virtue. In the world is corruption, sin, and death; in the church is the incorruption of the saints and eternal life. Outside the church you see objects of worldly vanity that feed on the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life (1 Jn. 2:16). You see the things that constantly entice and captivate people, and cause them to neglect the commandments of God, the Creator and Savior of all. For example, here in this building were kept fabrics of every sort and color. Those fabrics are the object of adoration of the daughters of men. They lived for them, were inspired by them, rejoiced over them, but not over God. Here the sparkle of various items of silver and gold stunned and enticed the gaze of those who worship everything glittering and beautiful. In a word—no matter where you direct your attention in the world, you will see only decay, vanity, and sin; everywhere is the earthly and worldly. Empty, vain conversations, vain activity that gives almost no reminder of heaven, God, and the other life. Only in pious homes do the icons of the Lord Jesus Christ, His Most Pure Mother, and His saints remind the thoughtful that we, Christians and members of Christ, members of His kingdom, look for the resurrection of the dead and the life of the age to come, in which we shall unite with the Lord and the saints, having cleansed ourselves of all defilement of flesh and spirit.

Thus, do you see what a difference there is between the temple--the house of God, and the world? Do you see how beneficial and necessary it is for a Christian to visit the temple of God in order to educate himself for the Heavenly Fatherland, in order to bring the spirit of Christ into himself, to engender heavenly, saintly manners? For, where else besides God’s temple will you hear the word of God; where, beside in church, will you receive the mysteries of faith; where will you obtain the strength to live in a Christian way? All of this is in church and from church.

Love going to God’s church, and prepare a temple of your own selves for God: Ye also, as lively stones, are built up a spiritual house, an holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices, acceptable to God by Jesus Christ (1 Pet. 2:5). Let parents, teachers, and relatives take or send their children to church often, every Sunday and feast day without fail, and not to the theatre, where they will only learn what the young should not know. In church, they will hear the name of the Lord more frequently; they will learn the great truth of the creation of the world and mankind; they will come to know the Savior, the Mother of God, and the names of the saints. They will learn about the resurrection of the dead, the future judgment, the future life, and the eternal torments of sinners. They will learn from the Spirit of God to be good Christians; and that is more valuable than anything in the world. Amen.

Footnote:

1 Akathist to the Mother of God, Ekos 10

Benjamin D. Williams 10/28/25 Benjamin D. Williams 10/28/25

An Orthodox Understanding of Stewardship

It all begins with an idea.

Benjamin D. Williams

September 2015

How should a person living at the close of the second Millennium, especially one living in our North American culture, approach and understand the subject of Stewardship? Clearly it is not a new subject. We have all grown up hearing about it, being told what it means, and instructed in how to practice it, have we not? Yet if our instruction had been as good as we recall it, if we had learned our lessons well, if we truly understood the historic Orthodox Christian meaning of stewardship, wouldn’t we be better stewards? Would not our Churches be in better condition? The fact is that much of what we have learned about stewardship is either incorrect or only partly correct. There are two main reasons for this: much of what we have learned has been out of context, and much of what we think is Christian teaching on stewardship is not - it has been imported from our culture.

Let’s briefly consider these two problems. Most Orthodox Christians only hear about the subject of stewardship when it is related to money. When dues are being assessed, when there is a fund drive or some other financial program, then homilies are preached on stewardship, much talk goes on about "financial stewardship," and we are challenged to become better stewards by giving more money! In other words, for most of us, stewardship and the giving of money to the Church are one and the same. That is not Christian stewardship. That understanding of stewardship has been ripped out of the larger context of living all of our lives as "good and faithful stewards."

As if that problem is not bad enough, much of our understanding, definition and practice of stewardship are shaped by our culture and society. We grow up and live in a society where material advancement and personal pleasure are the number one goals. The purpose of life, our culture tells us, is personal satisfaction. This cultural perspective on the purpose of life shapes our thinking about the faith, and all of us bring it into the Church. It shapes our understanding of stewardship, among other things, because it is the exact opposite of what Christian stewardship is all about. We are persons created in the image and likeness of God, and we were created to be stewards. We are called to live a life of stewardship, stewarding the life and creation of which we have been created a part, in the most responsible and productive way. The message of our culture, that our purpose is to "live the good life," is the opposite of our purpose as Christians. Stewardship is the golden thread that runs through and holds the Christian life together.

Stewardship As Christian Identity

Within this understanding, we must begin with the acknowledgment that all of life is a sacrament, in that in every aspect of life we may experience and commune with God. This communion ranges from the most natural - like experiencing a beautiful sunset, to the most divine, communion with God in the eucharist. We must come to see that "all the earth is the Lord’s, and all it contains, the world and those who dwell in it." (Psalm 24:1) As Fr. Schmemann challenges us, our human role is to offer back to God in thanksgiving, all that He has given to us. (For the Life of the World, SVS Press, Crestwood, NY, p. 24)

From this realization comes our understanding of Christian stewardship - managing the resources that God has given us, administering the elements of life. One of the best ways of thinking about stewardship is that it is the only truly appropriate human response to what God gives us. We experience all of life as a sacrament, and we steward all of life in response.

Consider for a minute the original usage of the term "steward." Our English word steward comes from the Greek word oikonomos, and literally means "house manager." Oikonomia, or stewardship, literally refers to the management of a household. Stewardship is a task, a responsibility bestowed on one person by another - usually by a master. Our Lord used the terms steward and servant frequently, as recorded in the Gospels. St. Paul uses them the same way in his epistles. In I Peter, every Christian is charged to "be a good steward of God’s grace." (I Peter 4:10) St. Ignatius of Antioch told the faithful that they were "stewards in God’s house, members of His household, and His servants." (Epistle to Polycarp, 99) He holds these three aspects of our way of life in dynamic tension: being stewards, being members of God’s household, and being servants. St. Ignatius can encourage us to toil, suffer, run, and rest, because these important aspects constitute our way of life as Christians.

Stewardship does not mean being hit up for an annual pledge to the Church. It is not being enlisted in a financial campaign for the new building. It is not even tithing. Rather, it is a well-rounded view of life and an incarnation of that view based on theology and ecclesiology – the giving of time and talent and treasure. Thus stewardship is a state of being. It is based in service. The steward is in the employ of his master. Therefore the most important aspect of being a steward is serving.

We Act As If We "Own" Creation

We modern humans act as if we "own" the creation and can do with it as we wish including destroy it. We treat and mistreat animals as if we had the right to destroy them. In a passage by Erik Herbermann (a contemporary horse trainer) that should give us pause about how we order our lives and how we treat creation (or those we are responsible to lead), he says:

Since by the power of our free will, we are agents over our own desires, we are fully responsible for our thoughts and words and, subsequently, the deed or physical manifestations which result from them. We are responsible for what we do with all the things over which we have stewardship. We horsemen, therefore, are responsible for our relationship with the horse and for its well-being while it is in our care. Accordingly, it is our duty, as stewards, to come to know enough about the horse that we do not, in any way, cause it mental or physical grief, either because of ignorance about its nature or due to lack of control over ourselves while we are dealing with it. (Erik F. Herbermann, "On Stewardship," Dressage and CT’, August, 1992, p. 5)

This is a Biblical view of stewardship, and it should typify our lives. If it should be true of the horseman and the horse, how much truer for the Christian? Think of the parables Christ Himself used to convey the same message: the vine dresser, the good and faithful servant, the good Samaritan, the talents. Out of this understanding of stewardship, out of this worldview, we realize that all we have is really the Lord’s, that we must care for it and offer it back to Him in thanksgiving. We are all called to be "good and faithful stewards." Then, and only then, is stewardship real. Then, and only then, are we fully living life. Then, and only then, are our tithes and offerings acceptable in the sight of God. (This principle is reiterated at every Divine Liturgy, when after the Commemoration the priest proclaims with the Gifts of bread and wine elevated, "Thine own of Thine own we offer unto Thee, in behalf of all, and for all.")

Transforming The World In The Wrong Way

We have a world full of examples of bad stewardship: e.g., pollution, brutality, pornography, waste, servitude, apathy, abortion, environmental destruction. We must understand and incarnate stewardship at both the micro and the macro level. The micro level means me: where I live, how I live, and how I interact with all with which I come into contact. The macro level means the world and how I interact with it, and how I am a responsible member of the human race.

These are not just abstract philosophical concepts having no direct bearing on our lives. Bad stewardship is in fact transforming our world in precisely the wrong way. The negative health and economic consequences of it fill the news. Such things as the deforestation of the Amazon, the desertification of large land masses in Africa caused by over-grazing and stripping the land of all vegetation, the changes of weather due to depletion of the ozone layer, the unchecked release of pollutants that destroy ozone, are directly caused by bad stewardship. The rampant increase in world population is due to many different causes, but it also adds up to bad stewardship - more people than our world can support.

The imbalance between available food supplies and rampant population growth fuels much of the death and suffering in our world today. Consider the growth in world population: in 200 AD it was approximately 200 million people; by 1825 it reached the one billion mark. "The next billion was added in only a hundred years. A further billion (taking the total to 3 billion) took about thirty-five years from 1925 to 1960. The next billion was added in only fifteen years (by 1975) while the increase from 4 billion to 5 billion took about twelve years and was completed in the late 1980s." (Clive Ponting, A Green History of the World, New York, NY: Penguin Books, 1991, p. 240).

Need we be concerned that the population has grown so exponentially? In one sense, perhaps we needn’t, as long as we can feed and care for all those people and not irreparably damage the earth. But we cannot. Notwithstanding the development of agriculture and industrialization, most of the people in the world live a meager existence with inadequate food and shelter. However, since stewards are supposed to care for the world and to "steward" its resources, consider a very graphic example of the consequences of human population growth: animal extinction. "Between 1600 and 1900 an animal species was made extinct about one every four years. By the 1970s this had risen to a rate of about 1,000 a year. At present about 25,000 species of plants, 1,000 species of birds and over 700 species of animals are on the verge of extinction. In the tropical forests about fifty species of plants and animals are being eliminated every day. At this rate it is estimated that in the 1990s about 1 million species (almost 20 percent of the total in the world) will become extinct." (Ibid., p. 193)

Would it surprise you to hear that even the AIDS epidemic may be the result of bad stewardship? In a recent article on viral epidemics, the following excerpt describes the process and the future consequences for the human race of this form of bad stewardship:

The emergence of AIDS appears to be a natural consequence of the ruin of the tropical biosphere. Unknown viruses are coming out of the equatorial wilderness of the earth and discovering the human race. It seems to be happening as a result of the destruction of tropical habitats. You might call AIDS the revenge of the rain forest. AIDS is arguably the worst environmental disaster of the twentieth century so far. Some of the people who worry in a professional capacity about viruses have began to wonder whether H.I.V. is the only rain forest virus that will sweep the world. The human immunodeficiency virus looks like an example rather than a culminating disaster. (Richard Preston, "Crisis in the Hot Zone," The New Yorker, October 26, 1992, p. 58)

Not only does this research neutralize the hysteria about the origins of AIDS, it also clearly lays the guilt at our own doorstep. Like the Pogo cartoon of so many years ago, "We have seen the enemy. . . and he is us!"

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that these "environmental concerns" only matter to the environmentalists. On the contrary, these issues must be of concern to every Christian because we are called to be stewards. Not only is environmental concern part of our stewardship, the enormity of the problem today should make us realize that the solutions are very limited. That is why the late Ecumenical Patriarch Demetrios issued a landmark message on the protection of the environment in 1989. After lamenting the extent of environmental destruction, he said, "Man is destined not to exercise power over creation, as if he were the owner of it, but to act as its steward, cultivating it in love and referring it in thankfulness, with respect and reverence to its Creator. Unfortunately, in our days under the influence of an extreme rationalism and self-centeredness, man has lost the sense of sacredness of creation and acts as its arbitrary ruler and rude violator." (Patriarch Demetrios, reprinted in The Orthodox Church, v. 29, Nov/Dec 1993, p. 5)

A Spiritual Crisis

A sacramental understanding of life drives us to recognize that the environmental crisis is not merely a physical one. It is a spiritual crisis. Consider this eloquent observation by Elizabeth Theokritoff:

Increasing numbers of people conclude that the way out of the crisis requires spiritual renewal: not just a change of habits, but a change of hearts - in Christian terms, repentance. Tragically, the environmental implications of our Christian Faith are so little understood, even among Christians, that the Church is the last place most people look for spiritual solutions. They are more likely to turn to the worship of Mother Earth, or native American religions, or witchcraft, or New Age spirituality. Yet this realization that the world needs salvation requires a change of heart, is a challenge to the Church." (Elizabeth Theokritoff, "Thine Own of Thine Own," The Orthodox Church, v. 29, Nov/Dec 1993, p. 5.)

The proclamation of Patriarch Demetrios calls all human beings to repentance, and asserts that the Orthodox Church believes the solution is to be found in the liturgical, eucharistic and ascetic ethos of the Orthodox Tradition. Theokritoff points out that "A eucharistic ethos means, above all, using natural resources with thankfulness, offering them back to God. Such an attitude is incompatible with wastefulness. Similarly, fasting and other ascetic practices make us recognize even the simplest of foods and other creature comforts as gifts, provided to satisfy our needs. They are not ours to abuse and waste just so long as we can pay for them. We worship as a community, not as individuals: so a liturgical ethos is also one of sharing."

Personal Stewardship

But what about stewardship in my own life? It is one thing to see and understand and critique good or bad stewardship on the macro scale; it is another to take personal responsibility for it. And, besides, while it may be in vogue to do certain things which smack of good stewardship (like recycling newspapers or not using wood stoves), it is easy to cop out of any responsibility for macro-level stewardship. It is "the government’s problem," it is "such a big issue," and besides, "I can’t change anything, anyway!" In our hearts we all know that this isn’t true, but one of our fundamental flaws as humans is to be reactive, not proactive. In other words, rather than be responsible and anticipate problems, we wait for them to develop before we realize we have to change our behavior.

This irresponsible approach occurs on the personal level, too. Consider our personal stewardship of the earth as it relates to the transportation we use. We choose to drive cars that pollute the air, soil, water, and vegetation because cars are fast, powerful, and convenient. We even insist on having multiple cars for convenience sake, largely refusing to be a part of mass transportation. Thus, we Americans have a highly polluted economy that is dependent on oil companies and auto manufacturers - so dependent that we find it difficult to implement better stewardship methods.

What about other resources which we are to steward? Certainly they include the things around us: e.g., land, animals, possessions. And what about our children? Are they not God-given "resources" put in our charge to steward for a reason? Are we practicing good stewardship toward our children when both parents work and our children are raised (shaped and influenced) by others who may not share our values? Is it good stewardship to allow our children to spend as much as 500 hours a year (as some researchers tell us) of unsupervised TV viewing — knowing full well that they are spending more time with the TV than with either of their parents or teachers? Is it good stewardship to allow our children to unquestioningly absorb the values of our hedonistic society? Are we not being poor stewards of their moral and ethical instruction?

We may even see child molestation as a result of bad stewardship. Experts tell us that children who have a poor relationship with their parents are most at risk to be molested. Such children quickly follow someone who seems willing to befriend them - primed for abuse by their parents’ poor stewardship.

If on the Day of Judgment you are asked how you stewarded the God-given resources put in your charge, how will you answer? Will you just say, "But Lord, come on, nobody ever told me they were resources! How was I to know I was supposed to steward them?" And what will Church leaders say when confronted with the fact that the word "stewardship" has come to be narrowly used as a way to get money? Shame on all of us for either letting it happen or condoning and perpetuating the improper use of the word.

Are Humans An Integral Part of Nature?

Why have we lost the Christian ideal of stewardship? To answer this question we must first answer another - are humans an integral part of nature, or are they separate from it and superior to it? The modern scientific worldview regards the world of nature as something external to humanity - not as something of which we are intrinsically a part. This worldview assumes no living connection between humanity and creation. It no longer sees nature as "the living garment of [man’s] own inner being. Consequently, man has also lost the sense of his role in relationship to the rest of creation. Displacing himself from nature, depersonalizing and objectifying it, he has destroyed the harmony and reciprocity that should exist between them." (Philip Sherrard, The Eclipse of Man and Nature, West Stockbridge, MA: Lindisfarne Press, 1987, 39) This change in worldview is so fundamental, so basic to who we are as members of modern Western society that most of us don’t even know it is ours; and fewer still realize that it is an inherently un-Christian and ungodly view of life. The result of this change is that mankind has become the exploiter of nature, rather than the steward of it.

Stewardship is clearly a part of the Christian worldview that is based on the fact of unity with nature and the desire for harmony with it. We have to realize that it is not enough to want to be good stewards, to long for a society that practices stewardship, to try to bring about stewardship in our own society. We have to realize that we live in a culture that is fundamentally opposed to stewardship! Sure, there is lots of talk about stewardship, but most of the talk is romantic and based in idealism. There are lots of hard-working and well-intentioned people trying to improve things in our society, but they are unlikely to make any change, because the society we live in is fundamentally opposed to it. Why is this?

It is because "The West has developed technically in direct relationship to the decline of the Christian consciousness, for the simple reason that the ‘secularization’ of nature that permits it to be regarded as an object and so to be exploited technically, is in direct contradiction to the sacramental spirit of Christianity, wherever and whenever this is properly understood . . . " (Ibid., 67) In other words, as soon as you tell yourself that you are not a part of nature, but are apart from it, you are in the position to exploit it. As soon as you lose the sacramental view of life, life becomes something to be used for your own selfish purposes. It is not easy to be a steward in a culture that denies stewardship.

There are as many suggested solutions for the environmental crisis as there are concerned people. So what do we do? Most of the suggestions are good ones, but in and of themselves they will do little. The starting point has to be a change of heart. We have to re-discover the historic Christian view of life as sacred, as a sacrament of which we are a part and which we may offer back to God in thanksgiving. And then, we have to participate fully in the sacramental life of the Church, for unless we become part of the sacrament of life, unless we have a eucharistic understanding of life, we will be unable to be good stewards and will have little effect in the world.

Stewardship As A Way Of Life

If I am serious about stewardship, I have to be serious about restoration and full communion with God. And, if I am serious about full communion, I will undertake the spiritual struggle to achieve it - and with the grace of God and many tears, I will attain it. Then, when I have my own house in order, I may begin to consider focusing on other things. That is the spiritual foundation of stewardship. If we would begin to approach stewardship in that manner—spiritually, and with a commitment to purity ourselves—our stewardship would please God. Instead of just worrying about recycling aluminum and plastic, we would be focusing on fulfilling our role in the sacrament of Life. Only when we see life as a sacrament of which we have an intrinsic part, will we change our hearts and our behaviors, and be good stewards. And only when we have a grasp of the spiritual dimension of stewardship, can we begin to understand and practice servant leadership and be good leaders.

Have you ever thought about your relationship with the Church from the perspective of good stewardship? It is a challenging proposition. We are to care for and nurture all those resources (God’s gifts) within the Church. We are to care for and nurture the Church itself, because she is a resource - a gift from God for the life of the world. We are to love and support, care for and nourish all who are in it - those within and without our little circles, those who dress well and those who don’t, those who are cool and those who are crass, those who are successful and those who are failures. And then, recognizing Christ’s challenge, we have to look at being a good steward within the Church as nothing less than practice for being a good steward outside the Church.

We are each ordained (Contrary to what most lay people think, ordination is not reserved for the clergy. Baptism and chrismation are rites of ordination for every believer into the "royal priesthood." See I Peter 2:9) by God to be stewards of His spiritual gifts, seen and unseen, material and immaterial, physical and mystical. Stewardship within the Church is not just limited to the building or to financial offerings. A good steward is concerned with the optimal use of all the gifts, talents, and responsibilities of the organization placed in his or her charge. This means that a caring attitude cannot be limited to some aspects at the expense of others. A good steward’s decisions and actions must reflect a caring for the entire body, from the least to the greatest within it.

An Inclusive Way of Life

Good stewardship is an inclusive way of life. It includes the loving treatment and care of others. It includes giving to the poor. It includes financial support of the Church. If we have a Christian understanding of stewardship, and if we are good stewards, then all of these elements are part of our lives. We move beyond selfishness and stinginess toward giving as Christ gave. We do so because we realize that selfishness is a sin; it deceives us into thinking we "own" things eternally. Consider the revelation that was given to St. Anthony, founder of monasticism, about the holiest person he ever met. "It was revealed to Abba Anthony in his desert that there was one who was his equal in the city. He was a doctor by profession and whatever he had beyond his needs he gave to the poor, and everyday he sang the Trisagion with the angels." (The Sayings of the Desert Fathers, translated by Benedicta Ward, SLC, Kalamazoo, MI: Cistercian Publications, 1975, p. 8) The physician in Alexandria gave to the poor whatever he had beyond his needs.

Holiness and good stewardship are inseparably linked. This physician was a good steward because he was holy. Or, should we say that he was holy because he was a good steward? The point is, we cannot separate them.

Good stewardship is meaningless without spiritual practice, because of sin and its endemic selfishness. Our salvation depends on us being self-less; to give of ourselves to others as Christ gave Himself to us so that we may thereby be restored to the divine image.

Can non-Christians be good stewards? Certainly! Orthodox Christianity teaches us that life itself is a journey in and toward the Kingdom of God. Every human being is on that journey. (Consider the opening sentence from the final prayer of The First Hour: "Oh Christ the True Light, who enlightens and sanctifies every person who comes into the world, may the light of Your countenance shine on us so that in your light we may see the unapproachable Light.") And, God gives gifts to each one for their life’s sustenance. (" . . . for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust." Matthew 5:45.) What motive do non-Christians have for practicing good stewardship? Who knows? Maybe they are close to the Kingdom. Maybe it is out of pure selfishness. Maybe it is out of concern for the environment they will leave the next generation. The point is, our faith teaches us that the higher way of stewardship is out of love for God. We cannot and should not concern ourselves with trying to judge the orthodoxy of the motives of others. Rather, we should focus on our own goals of achieving purity and sanctity.

A Practical Counsel

So then, how do we live as stewards? One of the counsels of St. Anthony is perhaps the most practical and cuts through all of the mixed motives: "Indeed, if we too live as if we were to die each new day, we shall not sin . . . When we awaken each day, we should think that we shall not live till evening; and again, when about to go to sleep we should think that we shall not awaken ...If we are so disposed and live our daily life accordingly, we shall not commit sin, nor lust after anything, nor bear a grudge against anyone, nor lay up treasures on earth. . . " (St. Athanasius, Life of St. Anthony, 36) Nor, we might add, will we be anything less than good stewards!

If we understand stewardship properly, then being stewards will become our way of living; and this higher calling will experience and encounter life in all its facets - its joys and its sorrows, its victories, and its setbacks. We can muster the courage and strength to travel on this stewardship journey because "God is with us." Good stewardship brings joy into the lives of others, helps those in need, enables those who desire to improve, loves and cares for the people in our lives, cares for God’s creation, supports the Church financially, participates in the sacramental life of the Church, teaches and guides others, nurtures the gifts which God has given us. All of these factors are qualities of good stewardship. If practiced well, all of these qualities can become normal parts of life. Returning to St. Anthony, which event in his life do you think provided the holy physician in Alexandria the most joy? Giving away all of his excess to the poor-the very thing that convinced St. Anthony of the physician’s holiness!

One of the greatest limiting factors to our stewardship is that we don’t practice good discernment. We make decisions on a legal, contractual level. You see, most of us bring a contractual understanding to the subject of stewardship. This simply means that for most of our lives, and especially at work, we have learned that we are supposed to get something in exchange for what we give! We must have an equal exchange of value. If I give you forty hours of my time per week, then I expect to get paid in return. I contribute my expertise, I get paid. A contractual mindset, applied in all circumstances, will kill stewardship. A contractual approach to giving means we are not truly free. By contrast, unqualified giving without constraint is a mark of freedom. When we bring a contractual understanding to our giving, then not only are we not free, but God is shortchanged. God has already given us much; our life, our possessions, and His Son! And now we want to strike bargains with Him?

St. John Climacus said, "It is better to insult your parents than it is to insult God." (St. John Climacus, The Ladder of Divine Ascent, Step 3, "On Exile," Classics of Western Spirituality, New York, NY: Paulist Press, 1982) God gives to us without strings. We must reach a level of spiritual maturity from which we can give back to God without expecting to get more in return. If we don’t, then our attitude and behavior are downright sinful. Broadening this discussion to include God’s Church, the problem is that we, in our contractual mindset, expect to receive in like kind from the Church when we give. We expect to get equal or greater value for our money. This attitude can easily degenerate into viewing the Church as a dispenser of goods and services. This is not a Christian attitude, it is a cultural understanding we have accepted. Such a view betrays a lack of understanding of the Church’s vision and misunderstands our identity as members of the Body of Christ.

Toward A Definition of Christian Stewardship

Can we now build a definition for stewardship? How might we describe "stewardship in action?" The following list is adapted from one prepared by Ron Nicola:

Stewardship is our active commitment to use all our time, talent and treasure for the benefit of humankind in grateful acknowledgment of Christ’s redeeming love.
Stewardship is caring for the needs of others.
Stewardship is offering one’s self to God as He offered Himself to us.
Stewardship is what a person does after saying "I Believe . . . ", as proof of that belief.
Stewardship is learning how to be a responsible and concerned caretaker of Christ’s Church; it is learning how to enjoy Church life and be happy in Church work, for in Her dwells the fullness of the Spirit of God.
Stewardship is devotion and service to God and his Church as persons, as families, as deaneries, as diocese, as national Church, and as the Church universal. (Ron Nicola, "Stewardship - A Set of Basic Principles," The Word, November 1982,4.)

Perhaps we could summarize the points just mentioned this way: Christian stewardship is a life in service to God and His Church motivated by our thankfulness for His love to us . ".... in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." It is the wise and proper use of all the gifts God has entrusted to our care. (See Romans 5:8) What then are the essential elements of stewardship?

THE ESSENTIAL ELEMENTS OF CHRISTIAN STEWARDSHIP

Acceptance of the belief that all life and life itself is a gift from God.
Freedom to choose not to sin and freedom from the constraints, pressures and temptations of the world that smother the expression of this belief.
Life in the Spirit which is characterized by behavior that uses and nurtures the time, talents, and treasure entrusted to us by God.

Ben Williams is the national sales manager for Protocol Systems Inc., manufacturers of hospital technology and support equipment. Ben is a member of the Orthodox mission in Midvale, Utah and is author of the books, Oriented Leadership and Orthodox Worship.

Taken from the OCA Resource Handbook for Lay Ministries.

Fr Stephen Freeman 10/28/25 Fr Stephen Freeman 10/28/25

Saved in Weakness

It all begins with an idea.

Fr. Stephen Freeman

March 2015

We are not saved by our talents and gifts nor by our excellence – we are saved by our weakness and our failure. I have made this point in several ways in several articles over the recent past – and the question comes up – but what does that look like? How do I live like that? The question can be somewhat urgent for some because the message is so utterly contrary to cultural assumptions that have been drilled into our minds. We are consumers and producers in the modern world. If I am not producing then I am being consumed – and so we rush to find a way to produce whatever is demanded. Just tell me the demand so that I can produce it!

How frustrating it is to be told that weakness and failure are the fulcrum point of salvation. For though we are all experienced in failure and weakness (who is not?), we have learned both to downplay those deficits (even to hide them) and to get on with our success no matter what. Occasionally (and not so rarely), someone finds their failures and weaknesses to have overwhelmed their lives. We give them medical treatment (where appropriate) or sadly watch them pass into a dependent stage of life, and quietly thank God that our own lives are not like theirs. We may have deep compassion for them – but we absolutely do not care to share their lot.

It is absolutely essential, however, that we understand that Christ voluntarily chose to share their lot and announced it as the very pathway to salvation. The Cross is not a transaction that takes place apart from our lives. It is not a moment between Christ and the Father, the settling of an account that was owed by us: it is something that also takes place within our lives and in the most intimate and profound manner. Uncomfortably, we must say that Christ Crucified is only effective when He is crucified within us and when we are ourselves are crucified with Him. If Christ is not crucified in you and you in Him, then there is no salvation.

So what does this look like in our daily lives?

It begins within the Church with Holy Baptism. In Baptism we are united with Christ in His death. This is the heart of repentance. Acknowledging and confessing our sins is the recognition of death in our lives. A man/woman confesses their brokenness, their failures to live by the commandments, even their lack of desire to live by the commandments. This is sealed in Baptism and becomes the pattern by which we live. Repentance (confession and absolution) is called a “second Baptism” by the Fathers.

How do we confess? I include here a remarkable passage from The Way of A Pilgrim that describes a good sense of saving confession and repentance:

The Confession of an Interior Man Leading to Humility
Turning my gaze at myself and attentively observing the course of my interior life I am convinced, through experience, that I love neither God nor my neighbor, that I have no faith, and that I am full of pride and sensuality. This realization is the result of careful examination of my feelings and actions.
1. I do not love God. For if I loved Him, then I would be constantly thinking of Him with heartfelt satisfaction; every thought of God would fill me with joy and delight. On the contrary, I think more and with greater eagerness about worldly things, while thoughts of God present difficulty and aridity. If I loved Him, then my prayerful communion with Him would nourish, delight, and lead me to uninterrupted union with Him. But on the contrary, not only do I not find my delight in prayer but I find it difficult to pray; I struggle unwillingly, I am weakened by slothfulness and am most willing to do anything insignificant only to shorten or end my prayer. In useless occupations I pay no attention to time; but when I am thinking about God, when I place myself in His presence, every hour seems like a year. When a person loves another, he spends the entire day unceasingly thinking about his beloved, imagining being with him, and worrying about him; no matter what he is occupied with, the beloved does not leave his thoughts. And I in the course of the day barely take one hour to immerse myself deeply in meditation about God and enkindle within myself love for Him, but for twenty-three hours with eagerness I bring fervent sacrifices to the idols of my passions! I greatly enjoy conversations about vain subjects which degrade the spirit, but in conversations about God I am dry, bored, and lazy. And if unwillingly I am drawn into a conversation about spiritual matters, I quickly change the subject to something which flatters my passions. I have avid curiosity about secular news and political events; I seek satisfaction for my love of knowledge in worldly studies, in science, art, and methods of acquiring possessions. But the study of the law of the Lord, knowledge of God, and religion does not impress me, does not nourish my soul. I judge this to be an unessential activity of a Christian, a rather supplementary subject with which I should occupy myself in my leisure time. In short, if love of God can be recognized by the keeping of His commandments—“If anyone loves me he will keep my word,” says the Lord Jesus Christ (John 14:23), and I not only do not keep His commandments but I make no attempt to do so—then in very truth I should conclude that I do not love God. St. Basil the Great confirms this when he says, “The evidence that man does not love God and His Christ is that he does not keep His commandments.”
2. I do not love my neighbor. Not only because I am not ready to lay down my life for the good of my neighbor, according to the Gospel, but I will not even sacrifice my peace and my happiness for his good. If I loved my neighbor as myself, as the Gospel commands, then his misfortune would grieve me also and his prosperity would bring me great joy. But, on the contrary, I listen with curiosity to accounts of my neighbor’s misfortune and I am not grieved but indifferent to them and, what is more, I seem to find satisfaction in them. I do not sympathize with the failings of my brother but I judge them and publicize them. My neighbor’s welfare, honor, and happiness do not delight me as my own; I am either completely indifferent to them or I am jealous or envious.
3. I do not have faith in spiritual realities. I believe neither in immortality nor in the Gospel. If I were firmly convinced and believed without a doubt in eternal life and in the consequences for our earthly actions, then I would be constantly thinking about this; the very thought of immortality would inspire me with wonder and awe and I would live my life as an alien who is getting ready to enter his native land. On the contrary, I don’t even think of eternity and I consider the end of this life as the limit of my existence. I nurture a secret thought within and wonder, “Who knows what will happen after death?” Even when I say that I believe in immortality, it is only from natural reasoning, for down deep in my heart I am not convinced of it and my actions and preoccupations with earthly cares prove this. If I accepted the Holy Gospel with faith into my heart as the word of God, then I would be constantly occupied with it; I would study it, would delight in it, and with deep reverence would immerse myself in it. Wisdom, mercy, and love hidden within it would lead me to ecstasy, and day and night I would delight in the lessons contained in the law of God. They would be my daily spiritual bread and I would earnestly strive to fulfill them; nothing on earth would be strong enough to keep me from this. But on the contrary, even if I sometimes read or listen to the word of God, it is either out of necessity or curiosity; I do not delve deeply into it but feel dryness and indifference to it and I receive no greater benefit from it than I do from secular reading. Further, I am eager to give it up promptly and go to worldly reading, in which I have greater interest and from which I get more satisfaction. I am full of pride and self-love. All my actions confirm this. When I see something good in myself, then I wish to display it or brag about it to others, or interiorly I am full of self-love even when outwardly I feign humility. I ascribe everything to my own ability and I consider myself more perfect than others, or at least not worse. If I notice a vice in myself, then I try to excuse it or justify it; I pretend to be innocent or I claim that I couldn’t help it. I am impatient with those who do not show me respect and I consider them incapable of judging character. I am vain about my talents and cannot accept any failure in my actions. I grumble and I am glad to see the misfortune of my enemies, and my intention in doing anything good is either praise, self-interest, or earthly comfort. In a word, I continuously make an idol out of myself, to whom I give unceasing service as I seek sensual delights and try to nourish my carnal desires.

This is a 19th century Russian expression of such a confession but represents the character of our self-examination and repentance. It is an acknowledgement on a deep level of our weakness and failure.

When we come to such a realization – in a deep manner – our instinct is shame. It is an appropriate instinct. We feel vulnerable and we want to run from such an admission as soon as possible. We want to know what we can do to change – and change quickly. Worse yet, we may want to excuse ourselves and make explanations for why we are as we are. But our weakness has to begin with our own patient acceptance of what is true of ourselves.

And it is at that point of truth, the point of our failure, that we “bear a little shame,” in the words of the Elder Sophrony. If we will accept that little shame, we will meet the Crucified Christ at that very point, for it is He who bears our shame. It is not in our strengths and wonderful qualities that we meet Christ. Our egos are so impregnable at those points that such a union is impossible.

But the vulnerable point of shame is the place where the ego can give way and break and where it can admit the presence of another. This, too, is difficult because the instinct of shame is to cover itself and hide. Thus, we are asked to “bear a little.”

Shame is the ego’s deepest instinct (and the first recorded reaction of man after the Fall). It is the fear of being seen for who we truly are rather than who we want to be or pretend to be. But there is a self that is deeper than the shame – and it can be found if we are patient and dare to stay put for a short time. This is hesychia and nepsis, stillness and sobriety.

This self is also described as the “place of the heart,” and in some places as the “deep heart.” In that place we cease to judge, to critique, to measure, to compare. We are aware and observe but in a manner that doesn’t separate the self from other people or other things. It is a place where we will find union with God and the ability to pray. It is also the place where the tears of repentance can be shed.

All of this is the patient inner journey of repentance and the gateway into the Kingdom of God. The bearing of a little shame is our own crucifixion. It unites us with Christ’s bearing of the whole Adam’s shame (the shame of the whole of humanity), which is His crucifixion.

I encourage anyone who undertakes such repentance to be moderate in their approach (a “little shame” is enough at any time). It is good to do this before an icon of Christ and His Cross. This helps us to hold ourselves together with Him rather than be consumed in our ego. If you “fail,” then don’t despair. Use that failure and its “little shame” instead.

All of this is better undertaken with a good spiritual father and his encouragement and help. A requirement in this way of things is safety. If you do not feel safe sharing such shame with your spiritual father, then it shouldn’t be pushed. I will add a note of caution to priests who hear confessions. It is incumbent upon priests to be a reliable place of safety. There is no call for berating or controlling or causing shame in a penitent. Generally, such behaviors in a priest constitute spiritual abuse.

I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; For You alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.
(Psa 4:8)

Hesychia requires a measure of safety.

The practice of such regular repentance strengthens us for spiritual warfare, for it teaches us a way of life that is deeper than the ego and promotes true humility. In time, we become “unassailable” by the hostile powers. They “find no place in us.”

I pray these thoughts will be found useful.

From Fr. Stephen’s Blog, Glory to God for All Things: http://blogs.ancientfaith.com/glory2godforallthings/2015/01/21/saved-weakness/

Elder Paisios 10/28/25 Elder Paisios 10/28/25

“A Christian Must Not Be Fanatical”

It all begins with an idea.

by Elder Paisios

February 2014

A Christian must not be fanatical; he must have love for and be sensitive towards all people. Those who inconsiderately toss out comments, even if they are true, can cause harm.

I once met a theologian who was extremely pious, but who had the habit of speaking to the secular people around him in a very blunt manner; his method penetrated so deeply that it shook them very severely. He told me once: “During a gathering, I said such and such a thing to a lady.” But the way that he said it, crushed her. “Look”, I said to him, “you may be tossing golden crowns studded with diamonds to other people, but the way that you throw them can smash heads, not only the sensitive ones, but the sound ones also.”

Let’s not stone our fellow-man in a so-called “Christian manner.” The person who – in the presence of others – checks someone for having sinned (or speaks in an impassioned manner about a certain person), is not moved by the Spirit of God; he is moved by another spirit.

The way of the Church is love; it differs from the way of the legalists. The Church sees everything with tolerance and seeks to help each person, whatever he may have done, however sinful he may be.

I have observed a peculiar kind of logic in certain pious people. Their piety is a good thing, and their predisposition for good is also a good thing; however, a certain spiritual discernment and amplitude is required so that their piety is not accompanied by narrow-mindedness or strong-headedness. Someone who is truly in a spiritual state must possess and exemplify spiritual discernment; otherwise he will forever remain attached to the “letter of the Law”, and the letter of the Law can be quite deadly.

A truly humble person never behaves like a teacher; he will listen, and, whenever his opinion is requested, he responds humbly. In other words, he replies like a student. He who believes that he is capable of correcting others is filled with egotism.

A person that begins to do something with a good intention and eventually reaches an extreme point, lacks true discernment. His actions exemplify a latent type of egotism that is hidden beneath this behavior; he is unaware of it, because he does not know himself that well, which is why he goes to extremes.

This is like the Icon-worshippers and the Icon-fighters. Extreme was the one, and extreme was the other!

The former reached the point of scraping the icon of Christ to throw the dust into the Holy Chalice, so that Holy Communion could become better; the others again burned the icons and threw them away.

This is why the Church was forced to put the icons high and, when the persecution passed, they brought them low, so that we could venerate them and honor the person depicted.

From Spiritual Awakening (Vol. 2).

The following is taken from the book Elder Paisios of Mount Athos -- Spiritual Counsels I: With Pain and Love for Contemporary Man.

Someone asks,

Geronda, why does St. Cyril of Jerusalem say that the Martyrs of the last days will surpass all Martyrs?”

And he responds,

Because in the old times we had men of great stature; our present age is lacking in examples, /and I am speaking generally about the Church and Monasticism. Today, there are more words and books and fewer living examples. We admire the holy Athletes of our Church, but without understanding how much they struggled, because we have not struggled ourselves. Had we done so, we would appreciate their pain, we would love them even more and strive with philotimo to imitate them. The Good God will of course take into account the age and conditions in which we live, and He will ask of each one of us accordingly. If we only strive even a little bit, we will merit the crown more than our ancestors.

In the old days, when there was a fighting spirit and everyone was trying to measure up to the best, evil and negligence would not be tolerated. Good was in great supply back then, and with this competitive spirit, it was difficult for careless people to make it to the finish line. The others would run them over. I remember once, in Thessaloniki, we were waiting for the traffic light to cross the street, when I suddenly felt pushed by the crowd behind me, as if by a wave. I only had to lift my foot and the rest was done for me. All I am trying to say is that when everybody is going toward the same direction, those who don’t wish to follow will have difficulty resisting because the others will push them along.

Today, if someone wishes to live honestly and spiritually, he will have a hard time fitting in this world. And if he is not careful, he’ll be swept by the secular stream downhill. In the old days, there was plenty of good around, plenty of virtue, many good examples, and evil was drowned by the good; so, the little disorder that existed in the world or in the monasteries was neither visible nor harmful. What’s going on now? Bad examples abound, and the little good that exists is scorned. Thus, the opposite occurs; the little good that exists is drowned by an excess of evil, and evil reigns.

It helps so much when a person or a group of people has a fighting spirit. When even one person grows spiritually, he does not only benefit himself, but helps those who see him. Likewise, one who is laid back and lazy has the same effect on the others. When one give in, others follow until in the end there’s nothing left. This is why it’s so important to have a fighting spirit in these lax times. We must pay great attention to this matter, because people today have reached the point where they make lax laws and impose them on those who want to live strict and disciplined lives. For this reason, it is important for those who are struggling spiritually, not only to resist being influenced by the secular spirit, but also to resist comparing themselves to the world and concluding that they are saints. For when this happens, they end up being worse than those who live in the world. If we take one virtue at a time, find the Saint who exemplified it and study his or her life, we will soon realize that we have achieved nothing and will carry on with humility.

Just as in racing, the runner speeding for the end line does not look back toward those lagging behind, but fixes his eyes forward, so too in this struggle we don’t want to be looking back and thus left behind. When I try to imitate those who are ahead of me, my conscience is refined. When, however, I look back, I justify myself and think that my faults are not important compared to theirs. The thought that others are inferior consoles me. Thus, I end up drowning my conscience or, to put it better, having a plastered, unfeeling heart.

Alexander Bogolepov 10/27/25 Alexander Bogolepov 10/27/25

Christmas Hymns in the Orthodox Church

It all begins with an idea.

by Alexander A. Bogolepov

December 2013

The observance of a special period of preparation before the Feast of the Nativity of Christ has long been an established part of Christian practice. In the Orthodox Church this period is made up of the Christmas Fast and the special days of preparation before Christmas itself, with the week of the Holy Forefathers and the week of the Holy Fathers. The Church services for these days of preparation commemorate the patriarchs, the prophets and all who had lived by faith in the Saviour who was to come and had prophesied about Him long before His coming. The hymns for the Feast of the Nativity are full of the original joyful excitement at the thought of God’s appearance on earth. The Christmas canon begins with a joyous declaration, gradually swelling in volume, of the Savior’s birth:

“Christ is born! Glorify Him!
Christ descends from the heavens, welcome Him!
Christ is now on earth, O be jubilant!
Sing to the Lord, the whole earth,
And sing praises to Him with joy, O ye people,
For He has been exalted!”1

In her Christmas hymns, as in her other hymnody, the Orthodox Church does not limit her vision to earthly happenings alone. In these hymns she contemplates the events of Christ’s life on earth from a dual perspective. Beyond the birth of a child in the poverty of a squalid cave, beyond the laying of the infant in a manger instead of a child’s crib, beyond His poor mother’s anxiety and alarm over His fate, supermundane events emerge -- events which are outside this world’s natural order:

“Today doth Bethlehem receive Him
Who sitteth with the Father forever”2

This was not the first birth of the One “who lay in a manger.” First He was begotten of His Father “before all ages” as God; moreover He was begotten of the Father alone, without His Mother. In Bethlehem He was born as men are born, but in contrast to all the sons of earth He was born of His Mother alone, without an earthly father. Having proclaimed “Christ is born!” in the 1st Song of the Christmas canon, the Church next calls upon the faithful to praise

“...the Son who was born of the Father
Before all ages, and in this latter day
Was made incarnate of the Virgin
Without seed; Christ our God”.3

In the last Song of the Christmas canon the feeling of the human mind’s powerlessness to comprehend this union of Divine majesty and human insignificance, this glorious mystery, is expressed even more brilliantly and eloquently.

A dark cave had replaced the resplendent heavens; the earthly Virgin had taken the place of the Cherubim as the “throne” of the Lord of Glory; a little manger had become the receptacle of the omnipresent God Who could never be contained in space:

“I behold a strange but very glorious mystery:
Heaven -- the cave;
The throne of the Cherubim -- the Virgin.
The manger -- the receptacle in which Christ our God,
Whom nothing can contain, is lying”.4

But nowhere does the attitude of reverence before this incomprehensible union of things heavenly and earthly find a more forceful expression than in the Kontakion for Christmas written by the greatest Greek hymn-writer, St. Romanos Melodus. Every word in it is full of meaning and one brilliant image follows another:

“Today the Virgin brings forth the Supersubstantial One
And the earth offers a cave to the Unapproachable One”.

Mary gave birth but remained a virgin, and gave existence to the One who is above all that exists in the world. And in the cave the earth provided a sanctuary for the One whom, as a general rule, men may not even approach. Next, the second part of this kontakion gives us two pictures of events which unfolded simultaneously and harmoniously on earth and in heaven. In heaven the angels glorify God in unison with the shepherds on earth, and the Wise Men move across the earth according to the direction taken by the heavenly star. The meaning of all this is that the Child whose life on earth was as yet only a few hours old is at the same time God, who existed before time itself and yet was born now for our salvation:

“For for our sakes, God, Who is before all the ages, is born a little Child”.5

What does the coming to earth of the Son of God really mean? Above all it means that people are illumined, that spiritual light is bestowed upon them. This idea is continually being put forward in the Christmas hymnody of the Orthodox Church. The Troparion for the Christmas Feast explains the basic meaning of the Feast. There is this direct statement:

“Thy Nativity, O Christ our God,
Has illumined the world like the Light of Wisdom”.

God enlightens each of us in the way that is most accessible and understandable to the particular person. And when He wished to enlighten the Wise Men, whose custom it was to observe the stars and their movements, He sent them an unusual star which guided them to the Christ.

“... They who worshipped the stars were through a star,
Taught to worship Thee, the Sun of Righteousness,
And to know Thee, the Day-Spring from on high”.

The star of Bethlehem gave the Wise Men an opportunity to see the rise of the Sun of Righteousness. But the light of Christ’s righteousness is not an earthly light. Its motion was not from out of the earth towards the firmament of heaven, but from above downwards. Shining high above the earth, it descended thereon from the heights of heaven and illumined the world with Divine light. It was the Day-Spring from on high. And all who have sat in spiritual darkness and waited for the true light have, like the Wise Men, come to know this extraordinary Day-Spring of the Sun of Righteousness.

“Our Saviour hath visited us from on high...
And we who were plunged in darkness and shadows
Have found the truth,
For the Lord hath been born of the Virgin”.6

The Church addresses this prayer of praise and thanksgiving to the Infant born in Bethlehem:

“Glory and praise to the One born on earth Who hath divinized earthly human nature.”7

The gifts of grace in the Holy Mysteries which strengthen enfeebled humanity, cure men, and regenerate them to a Godlike life, were imparted by Christ in the final, culminating days of His earthly mission and are linked to His death on the cross and Resurrection. But these last things were prepared for by Christ’s entire earthly life from Bethlehem to Golgotha. The Coming of Christ was the beginning of the salvation of mankind. And the Orthodox Church sings of Christ’s Nativity as the morning of men’s salvation, as the dawn after a long and anxious night -- the dawn with which the new, shining day in the life of the human race has already started.

The triumphal hymn of the Feast of Christmas is the “Gloria” sung by the angels to the Shepherds, to herald the coming of the Messiah.

“Glory in the Highest to God, and on earth peace, goodwill toward men” (Luke 2:14).

It is just as characteristic of Christmas as the hymn “Christ is Risen from the dead” is of Pascha (Easter).

According to the text of the second chapter of St. Luke’s Gospel the “good tidings” proclaimed by the angels was not a repetition from the heavens of things that were well-known before. The innumerable heavenly host which appeared suddenly in the wake of the Angel who had stood before the shepherds of Bethlehem confirmed his “tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.” (Luke2:10). They also sang of the new, marvelous act of God’s goodwill, His sending the Saviour to this earth. This was the meaning of their good news: “Glory to God in the Highest; salvation had come to a sinful earth with the birth of the Christ Child, the loving-kindness of God had descended upon men.”

The extraordinary and wondrous Birth from a Pure Virgin is one of the fundamental themes of Christmas hymnody; at the same time the Mother of God, whom the Orthodox Church venerates with such pious devotion, is given in this hymnody a special place of honour. A number of examples from sacred history are used in these hymns in order to glorify Her perpetual virginity, Her conception by the Holy Spirit and Her “supermundane act of giving birth to God.” The most important of these are the prophet Jonah’s sojourn in the belly of the sea-monster and the Babylonian fiery furnace.” The fiery furnace of Babylon did not burn the young men, who were covered with its flames, likewise:

“The fire of the Godhead scorched not the Virgin,
When He entered into Her womb”.8

Despite the birth Mary was preserved a virgin like the Burning Bush on Mt. Sinai which could not be consumed but remained green in the flames.9 The Church sings praises to Mary alike for Her virginity and Her touching maternal love. Her tenderness as a mother toward Her wondrous Infant Child, whom as Her son She held in Her arms at Her breast, but before whom She bowed in worship as before “the Son of the Highest,” is expressed in the following lullaby which Church hymnody assigns to the lips of the Lady Most Pure, calling upon us men “to magnify Her without ceasing”:

“O my child, child of sweetness,
How is it that I hold Thee, Almighty?
And how that I feed Thee,
Who givest bread to all men?
How is it that I swaddle Thee,
Who with the clouds encompasseth the whole earth”.10

She who “knew not a man” and yet gave birth to the Incorporeal God is for the Orthodox Church at once mother and virgin.

“Magnify, O my soul, the Virgin Most Pure,
The God-Bearer, who is more honourable
And more glorious than the heavenly hosts”.11

The best and holiest of earthly creatures, exalted above the angels, the God-Bearer is the pride of this earth, a fitting gift from mankind to the Creator and Saviour:

“What shall we present unto Thee, O Christ,
For Thy coming to earth for us men?
Each of Thy creatures brings Thee a thank-offering:
The angels -- singing; the heavens -- a star;
The Wise Men -- treasures; the shepherds devotion;
The earth -- a cave; the desert -- a manger;
But we offer Thee the Virgin-Mother. O Eternal God, have mercy upon us”.12

In rendering “maternal-virginal glory” to Mary Full-of-Grace the Church venerates Mary because, through Her unspotted purity, She was made worthy to bring the Saviour into this world and Herself became the door of salvation and deliverance from the curse of sin which had weighed upon men:

“Magnify, O my soul, Her who hath delivered us from the curse”.13

Paradise is now once again opened to us. If sin entered the world through Eve, it is also through the New Eve (the Mother of our God) that victory over sin has come into the world.

The Church likewise summons us:

“Let us glorify in song the true God-Bearer
Through who sinners have been reconciled with God.14

The Mother of God represents the point at which the Godhead came into direct contact with Old Testament humanity. She is in this respect the living symbol of all the triumphant joy of Christmas, which is the celebration of God’s reestablished union with men. God, who had driven our forefathers out of Paradise, had set them far apart from Himself. Now, with the birth of Christ, He has again come to men, just as He once came to them in Paradise. It has become possible again for men to be in communion with God. The barrier between,Heaven and earth has fallen and so we sing along with Adam and Eve:

“The wall of partition is destroyed,
The flaming sword is dropped,
The Cherubim withdraw from the Tree of Life,
And I partake of the fruits of Paradise,
Whence, for my disobedience, I was driven forth”.15

The underlying feeling of the Christmas Feast is one of peace. This is a result of the reconciliation and new unity between heaven and earth:

“Heaven and earth now are united through Christ’s Birth!
Now is God come down to earth
And man arisen to the heaven”.16

This unity is the source of general exultation -- a note which resounds vigorously in the Christmas hymnody:

“Today Christ is born in Bethlehem of the Virgin.
Today He who is without a beginning begins,
And the Word is made flesh.
The powers of Heaven rejoice,
The earth and her people are jubilant;
The Wise Men bring gifts to the Lord,
The shepherds marvel at the One who is born;
And we sing without ceasing:
“Glory to God in the Highest, And on earth peace, (God’s) good will toward men”.17

There is one solitary note, however, which breaks into these hymns of general rejoicing like a forewarning of future lamentations. The Wise Men -- according to the Christmas Eve stichera -- came toworship the Incarnate God and devotedly offered Him their gifts -- gold, because He is the King of ages; frankincense, because He is the God of all men; but then they also brought Him myrrh, with which the Jews were accustomed to anoint their dead, because He was to “lie three days in death.”

The heart of the Mother of God must have been seized by a premonition of that which awaited the innocent Child who was sleeping peacefully in the manger. This minor note of sadness is drowned, however, in the general chorus of exultation. Heaven and earth rejoice together and this does not mean simply that the angels’ singing harmonises with that of the shepherds. The Church does not even view so-called “inanimate nature” as indifferent to the higher world. The Creator has willed the existence of a special link between them. At an earlier time man’s sinfulness had brought general disorder into nature, but now all nature leaps for joy, rejoicing at the overcoming of this sin:

“Today the whole creation rejoices and is jubilant,
For Christ is born of the Virgin”.18

In the Christmas hymnody the Star is not merely the voice which made known to the world the Saviour’s appearance. It is also a sign, a symbol of this appearance, just as the Cross is the symbol of victory over the forces of darkness. Then, too, the Star is a symbol of Christ Himself, “the Star which rose from Jacob”.19

For more than nineteen centuries Christ has been shining down upon mankind as a guiding star, not as a myth or mirage, but as the living God, who has been on earth and spoken with men. There have been many subsequent attempts to obscure the pure silver light of the Star of Bethlehem in human consciousness. But the centuries of the Christian era have not passed by in vain. And if the Christmas hymns continue to resound each year in churches scattered all over the world and to be sung as they were sung many hundreds of years ago by the grandparents and forbears of the present generation, this means that the light shed by the Christmas Star is deeply rooted in human hearts and shines on in them undimmed.

From Orthodox Hymns of Christmas, Holy Week and Easter, published by the Russian Orthodox Theological Fund Inc.

Footnotes

1 Christmas Canon, 1st Song, Irmos
2 Christmas Matins, stichera after the Gospel
3 Christmas Canon, 3rd Song, Irmos
4 Christmas Canon, 9th Song, Irmos
5 Kontakion
6 Christmas Matins, Protagogion
7 Christmas Matins, Sedalen
8 Christmas Canon, 8th song, Irmos
9 2nd Christmas Canon, 1st song, Troparion
10 Pre-Christmas,, 9th song, Troparion
11 Christmas Canon, 9th song, verse
12 Stichera by Patriarch Anatolios on “O Lord, I have cried unto Thee”
13 Christmas Canon, 9th Song, verse
14 Christmas Canon, 5th Song, Troparion
15 Stichera by Patriarch Hermanos on “O Lord, I have cried unto Thee”
16 Stichera on the Litiya
17 Stichera before the great Doxology
18 Christmas Canon, 9th song, verse
19 Christmas Canon, 6th song, Troparion

Mtk Dennise Kraus 10/27/25 Mtk Dennise Kraus 10/27/25

October: Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

It all begins with an idea.

By Matushka Dennise Kraus

October 2013

Thy departure from this earthly life is a cause of grief and sorrow for your parents and all who love you, O little child; but in truth you have been saved by the Lord from sufferings and snares of many kinds.
O Savior and Master of our life: comfort the faithful parents of this departed child with the knowledge that to innocent children, who have done no deeds worthy of tears, are granted the righteousness, peace and joy of Thy kingdom.
Canon Ode 9, The Service of Burial of an Infant

Each year, approximately a million pregnancies in the U.S. end in miscarriage, stillbirth or the death of a newborn child. But this is not just a statistic. This is a life and a death.

It is my belief that both the Gospel and the Orthodox Church hold that life begins at conception—that is, the fertilization of the ovum by the sperm. God knows the name and age of each person from their mother’s womb, is what we pray during the Liturgy of St. Basil. We must therefore recognize that pregnancy loss—miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy or stillbirth—all result in the death of a human being, a baby, a Child of God. Parents who were anticipating life are now confronted with death. These deaths result in millions of parents and families grieving.

Grieving Alone

Fr John Breck writes of the mother who has miscarried, “Her pain needs to be acknowledged, accepted, and palliated through words and gestures of understanding, sympathy and love, offered by her family and the parish community.” In reality, most of the parents who experience the loss of a child during pregnancy, suffer alone. This is especially true in the instance of early pregnancy loss (i.e. miscarriages and ectopic pregnancies) where there is no “body” to be seen and often the mother shows no outward signs of pregnancy. Many people are unaware of the grief that pregnancy loss causes. Sometimes the grieving parents, themselves, reinforce the idea that they are not grieving, by pretending they do not experience hurt, as they try to “get on with their lives” and to “try again.”

It is important to note that not only is a parent’s grief over a pregnancy loss real and normal, it is also Christian. Too many times it is assumed that grief is not Christian; that the bereaved should accept the reality of the loss as being “God’s Will.” However, we know that when Jesus found out about the death of his friend Lazarus, that “Jesus wept” (John 11:35). Especially in early losses (most miscarriages occur before the twelfth week of pregnancy) people often use the clichés “It’s God’s will,” “God wanted the baby in heaven for himself,” “God knows best; the baby would have probably been deformed.” The only thing these sayings do is indicate to the parents that they should not mourn, that if they “are Christian” they will accept God’s Will and not “complain.”

National Observance of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness

In 1988, President Ronald Reagan proclaimed October as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month throughout the United States noting that, “National Observance of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month offers us the opportunity to increase our understanding of the great tragedy involved in the deaths of unborn and newborn babies. It also enables us to consider how, as individuals and communities, we can meet the needs of bereaved parents and family members on work to prevent causes of these problems….”

Subsequently, the resolution to declare October 15 Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day passed the United States House of Representatives on September 28, 2006. In honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, it is suggested by many bereavement groups that grieving parents light a candle at 7 p.m. in their respective time zones to create a wave of light around the world in memory of babies lost to pregnancy and infant loss. At Holy Trinity Orthodox Church in East Meadow, NY we have been holding a Molieben (prayer service) each year on October 15th beginning at 7pm. A copy of the service can be found at our parish prayer ministry website, http://holytrinityeastmeadow.org/Ministries/prayerministry.html. Following the service, it is good to have fellowship and refreshments of some sort. It would also be a good idea to have pamphlets on grieving available. Pamphlets and resources can be found on the internet, but especially from the National Share Office, http://www.nationalshare.org/.

Guidelines for Helping a Friend or Family Member to Grieve

Not everyone grieves the same. It is important to create a loving and understanding atmosphere to help those affected. Always work in cooperation with your pastor. In 2002, I wrote an article for our Diocesan Journal, Jacob’s Well entitled “Comforting Those Who Have Lost a Baby During Pregnancy or Shortly Thereafter.” I am including the guidelines from that article for people who may not know what to say or how to help a friend or family member who is grieving.

The first and likely the most important thing you can do is realize that a baby has died and this death is just as “real” as the death of an older child. The parents’ grief and healing process will be painful and take time, lots of time. They may not be recovered or done “thinking about their baby” after a month or even a year. Realize that the parents are sad because they miss their baby, and that he or she can never be replaced by anyone else, including future children or children they may already have.
Let the parents know that they and their family and the baby are in your prayers. Call or send a sympathy card. You don’t have to write a lot inside, a simple “You and your baby are in my thoughts and prayers” is enough.
What the parents need most now is a good listener and a shoulder, not a lecture or advice. Listen when they talk about the death of their baby. Don’t be afraid, and try not to be uncomfortable when talking about the loss. Talk about the baby by name, if they have named the child. Ask what the baby looked like, if the parents saw the baby. Most parents need and want to talk about their baby, their hopes and dreams for their lost child.
It is okay to admit that you don’t know how they feel. A good thing to say is, “I can’t imagine how you feel. I just wanted you to know that I am here for you and am very sorry.”
Give a hug. This is a sign of love and concern. Even if this is all you do, it’s a nonverbal way of saying “I’m sorry” or that “I’m praying for you.”
Offer to baby-sit their other children. Often there are follow-up doctor’s visits and the parents need a chance to be together as a couple as well.
Offer to bring over meals; often mothers have no energy to do even basic things.
Offer to go food shopping, help clean the house, do laundry; anything that lightens the burden of daily chores that need to be done. This is especially helpful if the mother is still waiting to miscarry the baby. That process may take days and is physically and emotionally draining.
Be careful not to forget the father of the baby. Men’s feelings are very often overlooked because they seem to cope more easily. The truth is that they are quite often just as devastated as their partner.
Try to remember the anniversary of the death and due date with a card, call, or visit. Anniversaries can trigger grief reactions as strong as when the loss first happened. Months down the road a simple “How have you been doing since you lost your baby?” can give much comfort.
Give special attention to the baby’s brothers and sisters. They too are hurt and confused and in need of attention which their parents may not be able to give at this time.
If the children want to talk about the death, don’t be afraid to engage them in conversation. Children have a natural relationship to death and they are open and direct with adults with whom they feel comfortable. When children are allowed to share their dreams and thoughts openly, they are not usually impacted by death in a negative way.
If you are pregnant, it may be hard for the bereaved parents (especially the mother) to see or even talk to you. You will need to be very understanding and extra patient with them. They still love you and are happy for you, but it is just such a huge reminder of what they have lost. Your bereaved friends may even feel a little jealous of you (especially after your baby comes), and then get angry with themselves for feeling that way.
Remember that any subsequent pregnancies can be a roller-coaster ride of joy, fear and bittersweet memories.
Remember also that mourning puts a tremendous strain on relationships between family and friends.

Your help, comfort, and sensitive support can be very influential in how the parents cope with the death of their baby and how they recover. You are important; they need you now more than ever.

After giving birth to two beautiful children, my husband and I experienced the deaths of two babies during pregnancy. Our second baby died while we were attending St Vladimir’s Seminary. The prayers and support that we received from the community aided in our healing. The molieben (prayer service) that my husband serves on October 15th, holds special meaning for us. We hope that such prayers will help others to heal as well. “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” (II Corinthians 1:3-4 RSV)

Definitions

Grief:

The thought and feeling experienced within oneself upon the death of someone loved. It is the internal meaning given to the experience of bereavement.

Mourning:

is the taking of the internal experience of grief and expressing it outside oneself.

Miscarriage:

Death of an infant during the first 20 weeks of gestation. Usually a miscarriage occurs in the first 12 weeks. In most states the hospital is responsible for the remains of the baby. However, some states are introducing legislation that would allow parents to request the body for burial.

Ectopic Pregnancy:

When the baby (fertilized egg) implants itself outside of the uterus. Medication or surgery is necessary to remove the conceptus (baby), prevent rupture of the fallopian tube, and to safeguard the mother’s life. A ruptured ectopic pregnancy is a potentially life-threatening event for the mother.

Stillbirth:

Death of an infant in the last 20 weeks of gestation, but prior to birth. In most states it is the responsibility of the parents to bury the baby.

Neonatal Death:

Death of an infant during the first 28 days after birth.

Perinatal Loss:

Death of an infant during pregnancy, childbirth or during the first 28 days after birth.

Helpful Websites

http://holytrinityeastmeadow.org/pregnancyloss.html—Articles and prayer services for pregnancy loss.

http://namingthechild.com/—Hope-filled reflections on miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant death, many from an Orthodox perspective.

http://www.nationalshare.org/—Helping those who have experienced the death of a baby due to early pregnancy loss, stillbirth, or in the first few months of life.

http://www.compassionatefriends.org/—A national self-help organization providing friendship, support and resources for parents and siblings grieving the loss of a child.

Bibliography

The Great Book of Needs, Expanded and Supplemented, Volume III. “The Order for the Burial of an Infant”. St. Tikhon’s Seminary Press. South Canaan, PA. 1999.

Borg, Susan and Lasker, Judith. When Pregnancy Fails: Families Coping with Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Death. 1981. Revised 1989.

Breck, John. The Sacred Gift of Life. Orthodox Christianity and Bioethics. St. Vladimir’s Press. Crestwood, NY. 1998.

Elliott, Martha. An Orthodox Christian Response to the Death of a Child. SVS MA Thesis May, 1998 p9.

Klunger-Bell, Kim. Unspeakable Losses. Understanding the Experience of Pregnancy Loss, Miscarriage and Abortion. New York, London: WW Norton and Company, 1998.

Kohn, Ingrid and Perry-Lynn Moffitt. A Silent Sorrow: Pregnancy Loss: Guidance and Support for You and Your Family. New York: Routledge, 2000.

James, John and Frank Cherry, The Grief Recovery Handbook.

Limbo, Rana K. and Sara Rich Wheeler. When A Baby Dies: A Handbook for Healing and Helping. Bereavement Services. LaCrosse, Wisconsin. Revised Printing 1998.

Lothrop, Hannah. Help, Comfort and Hope After Losing Your Baby in Pregnancy or in First Year. Fisher Books, 1992.

Moe, Thomas. Pastoral Care in Pregnancy Loss: A Ministry Long Needed. The Haworth Pastoral Press. New York. 1997.

Olson, Heidi B. When the Bough Breaks—Working with Families Who have Experienced The Death of an Infant (A Guide For Healthcare and Other Professionals).

Panuthos, Claudia and Catherine Romeo. Ended Beginnings. Massachusetts: Bergin & Garvey Publishers, Inc., 1984.

Shimchick, John. Sharing The Loss Of The Wished For Child. The Resource Handbook for Lay Ministers. Orthodox Church in America. New York. p. 5

Vogel, Gary E. A Caregiver’s Handbook to Perinatal Loss. deRuyter-Nelson Publications, Inc. St. Paul, Minnesota. 1996

Walker, Gordon T. Dealing with Grief. Second Edition. Conciliar Press, 1988.

Worden, William. Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy. A Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner. Second Edition. New York: Springer Publishing Company, 1991.

Dennise Kraus is the wife of Fr. Martin Kraus, Holy Trinity Church, East Meadow, NY and the mother of four children.

This article was taken from http://oca.org/resource-handbook/familylife/october-pregnancy-and-infant-loss-awareness-month

Fr Christopher Foley 10/27/25 Fr Christopher Foley 10/27/25

Spiritual Reading

It all begins with an idea.

Father Christopher Foley

September 2012

The Holy Fathers set forth their thoughts, their heart, the image of their activity in their writings. This means: what a true guidance to heaven, which is borne witness to by heaven itself, are the writings of the Fathers.
- Saint Ignatius Brianchaninov
Tire yourself in reading spiritual books, as they save you from impurity.
- Saint Anthony the Great

Starting this fall we will begin a new adult class based on the writings of the Holy Fathers. We will be taking some time to establish a habit of spiritual reading as part of our daily spiritual exercise. We will take some time also to reflect together on what we are reading and discuss how the Fathers’ guidance is helpful for us. Before we begin, it is important for us to take some time to reflect on why this is important in the first place.

Why Should We Read The Holy Fathers?

Spiritual reading should be a normal part of one’s devotional and contemplative life. But why should we read the Holy Fathers? Don’t we have enough in the Scriptures and is it not enough to come to church and participate in the services? Of course, Holy Scripture is paramount and is, par excellence, the main source of Holy Tradition and it is within the Divine Services that we come to understand these Scriptures. However, it is important for us first to remember that the writings of the Holy Fathers of the church are also part of the Holy Tradition. Holy Tradition is nothing less than the full proclamation of the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ. There are many monuments to this Gospel: Holy Scripture, Patristic texts, conciliar decrees, Liturgical rites, church art, hymnography, architecture, etc. to the extent that they accurately manifest Christ to us. Thus, the writings of the Holy Fathers, present to us one of many ways to continue participating in the fulness of the Gospel. There is a continuity of this proclamation of the Gospel within the Holy Tradition of the Church.

The Troparion to the Holy Fathers says that they are “lights upon the earth.” They refract and distill the light of the Gospel in unique ways. Saint Gregory Palamas, offering the example of the mother who chews hard food and then gives to her baby to eat, says that the holy fathers prepare the word of the Gospel for us so that the spiritual discernment and understanding in the hearts of the God-bearing fathers come to offer nourishment to those who listen and obey. This “softening” of the meat of the Gospel is not a watering down of Truth but an aide in digesting the tough sayings of Christ so that we could more readily hear them and apply them. This is what compels us to peruse these writings daily.

The Holy Fathers provide a solid foundation upon which to build. Their teaching is bedrock, a cornerstone, a firm wall and bullwark against the enemy. Elder Ameilianos states that,

The Word of God conceals within itself the power of God, the power of Christ. And when you immerse your mind and heart in spiritual books, you will always be filled when you come forth from your reading. What then do spiritual books give us? They give us, first of all, a foundation in God. The power of the word of God conquers our sins and defeats the devil, as St. John Chrysostom says (Third Homily on Lazarus).

We find strength and power in their works as they are writing out of their own lived experience and the struggles that they too have faced trying to fully live out the Gospel.

Reading the Holy Fathers helps us to acquire the mind of the Church. We realize that we are still in process and are still learning to die to our old self - our ideas, our conceptions, our opinions and that there really is nothing that is “ours.” We want to strive to acquire the mind of Christ and be able to see things more clearly, which includes ourselves. We read the Fathers in order to continue to awaken as from sleep and illumine our darkened mind and reasoning.

How Should One Approach Reading The Holy Fathers?

One should approach the Fathers with openness and a willingness to apply their simple truths to our lives. We read as a spiritual discipline, not to acquire knowledge or argue with the author, but in order to engage and hear and do. It is not like reading theology or a novel, it is devotional reading meant for contemplation.

Saint Maximus the Confessor, in his introduction to his four hundred chapters on love tells the recipient of his writing,

If anything in these chapters should prove useful to the soul, it will be revealed to the reader by the grace of God, provided that he reads, not out of curiosity, but in the fear and love of God. If a man reads this or any other work not to gain spiritual benefit but to track down matter with which to abuse the author, so that in his conceit he can show himself to be the more learned, nothing profitable will ever be revealed to him in anything.

This means that we approach this spiritual literature with an open and uncritical spirit. The point is to listen, contemplate and engage the text in order to put it into practice, not in order to study it as a scientist in a laboratory. One reads with their heart rather than with their mind. “Occupy yourself with reading with a calm spirit,” says Abba Evagrius, “so that your mind may be constantly raised up to contemplation of the wondrous acts of God, lifted, as it were, by some hand outstretched to it.”

The best way to train oneself to read devotionally is to read in shorter segments, daily (preferably at the same time every day) after one’s morning prayers or evening prayers. The goal is not to “finish the book” in order to check it off the list, but to slowly read and chew on it, slowly digesting the spiritual treasure that is there. It may be helpful to highlight and take notes or journal about what one finds helpful and challenging. When one finds a passage that is difficult instead of trying to figure it out, just close the book, make the sign of the Cross and pray a simple prayer for discernment. Then come back the next day and simply continue reading. Many of the writings on the spiritual life are very practical and profound in their simplicity and have a way of getting straight to the heart of things. We read in order to be led by these “lights on the earth.” We humble ourselves and sit at the feet of these spiritual giants receiving their words as guidance on the journey of salvation in Christ. The Desert Fathers say that the one who chooses himself as a spiritual guide chooses a fool and a blind man. We need this direction and it is amazing to see how fresh and current the writings from the Holy Fathers are.

Beginning this fall we will begin trying to make this a vital part of our daily discipline. We will read texts through the week and then when we gather on Wednesday nights we can discuss what we have read. I will make the readings available at church and, if I can find them electronically, I will send the links out. This way, even if you can’t make it to the discussion class, you can still benefit from the readings. I think you will find them a treasury of spiritual guidance and a true gift and encouragement.

Fr Kyrill Williams 10/27/25 Fr Kyrill Williams 10/27/25

Prayer is the Currency of Change

It all begins with an idea.

Fr Kyrill Williams

July 2012

When our lives are jolted by suffering, a setback, or any bad news, very often our first reaction is “I’ve got to do something about this.” Our initial response is we have to react or do something to change suffering into joy, a setback into victory, or bad news into good. It’s almost as if we believe we have the power to change water into wine. Part of this reaction is natural given our fallen state and part of it is cultural. We are programmed to believe that we have a God-given right to be happy and anything or anyone that encroaches on that happiness has to be dealt with by any means necessary. While this is perhaps the reality of our state according to nature and culture, it isn’t the Gospel. It’s not where God resides.

When we respond according to the ways described above, our head (intellect) is in control which leaves little room for the nous (heart, as understood by the Fathers). In Orthodox theology, the nous is the highest faculty or power of the human soul. It is the faculty that knows God directly; it is the seat of our personhood, which experiences the Person of God in a communion of love. St. Gregory Palamas and other Holy Fathers say that it most precisely defines what is the “image of God” in us. Yet, in our fallen state, we live our lives completely controlled by the other faculty, the intellect. We see this most clearly when we engage in theological disputes with those who don’t hold our viewpoints or when we gossip about the lives of others or what’s going on in the church. In allowing our intellect to rule our lives, we shut out and bury the nous, where God resides. As a result, we have to win every argument or debate, we have to stay current on the latest gossip, and we have to constantly demonstrate to others our own abilities and superiority.

Yet in all this activity, God is not to be found because the nous is subjected to the intellect. It’s analogous to the person whose garage becomes so cluttered that one can’t find anything in it any longer. There’s no room for anything else. Unfortunately, this is often how we live our lives. Fr. Damascene puts it this way, “The sickness of the nous leads to spiritual death. The darkness of the nous leads to spiritual darkness, in which we cannot see things clearly and soberly. We cannot see things as God sees them; instead, we see them through the filter of our passions. Thus we grope about blindly in life, hurting ourselves and hurting others, either wittingly or unwittingly. We stray far from our purpose in life, which is union with God. Although we might think we have lots of important things to do, we wander aimlessly through life; and all our busyness only serves to distract us from our diseased spiritual state, from the fact that we are not fulfilling our life’s true purpose. Our nous is sick because we have separated ourselves from God, because we have sought after our passions rather than Him.” When someone injures us, we seek to strike back and avenge our honor. In reality, such thinking is not about honor or justice. It’s really about allowing our passions to have free rein in our lives. Inevitably, this leads to more sin, further alienation from God and from our brothers and sisters. In the end, it never leads to true happiness or lasting peace.

The Gospel calls us to a different hierarchy of values and a different order between the intellect and the nous. St. Theophan the Recluse describes it in these terms,

You’ve got to get out of your head and into your heart. Right now your thoughts are in your head, and God seems to be outside you. Your prayer and all your spiritual exercises also remain exterior. As long as you are in your head, you will never master your thoughts, which continue to whirl around your head like snow in a winter’s storm or like mosquitoes in the summer’s heat. If you descend into your heart, you will have no more difficulty. Your mind will empty out and your thoughts will dissipate. Thoughts are always in your mind chasing one another about, and you will never manage to get them under control. But if you enter into your heart and can remain there, then every time your thoughts invade, you will only have to descend into your heart and your thoughts will vanish into thin air. This will be your safe haven. Don’t be lazy. Descend. You will find life in your heart. There you must live.

Prayer is solely operative in the nous. It’s not an intellectual formulation or an abstract concept. It’s where we meet and are transformed through repentance by God. Once the head is subjected to the heart and enters therein, real change becomes possible. As prayer matures and begins to bear fruit in our lives, we begin to see as God wants us to see. We begin to see noetically. We begin to understand humility is preferable to arrogance. We begin to prefer silence over gossip and idle talk. We begin to prefer prayer to action. Noetically, we understand prayer is the only currency of change. That’s when the words of Elder Paisios begin to take root in our heart and spur us to inner transformation,

If you wish to be calm do not read rebellious books or pamphlets that mention Church matters, since you are not responsible for such serious affairs. You have need of books that will assist you in YOUR repentance. If you want to help the Church, correct YOURSELF and immediately amendment is made to a small part of the Church. Naturally, if everyone did this, then the Church would be put in order.

Prayer as the only real currency of change isn’t recognized because it the the “pearl of great price” that lays hidden in the nous of every individual. One who lives life noetically recognizes that prayer is the only currency of change because it has the power to raise those who are dead back to life, life in Christ.

Hieromonk Calinic (Berger) 10/26/25 Hieromonk Calinic (Berger) 10/26/25

Guarding the Thoughts, Guarding the Heart

It all begins with an idea.

Hieromonk Calinic (Berger)

September 2011

One of the major themes in the Philokalia and the writings of the Holy Fathers in general is that of the “guarding of thoughts.” A thought is a seed which, when planted in the heart, can affect the totality of not only how we act, but of our entire attitude towards life, towards a particular situation, towards others and even towards ourselves. Thoughts are powerful, and can either motivate us or totally discourage us.

For this reason, the Orthodox Fathers placed great emphasis on the guarding of the thoughts and the guarding of the heart. They recommend a constant vigilance over oneself effected by perpetually standing before God in the depth of one’s heart. Here, each thought is brought before Christ to be judged. Unworthy thoughts are expelled from the mind. More simply, we need to pay attention to our inner monologue. If we give place to negative or defeatist thoughts, they will become a prophecy that we ourselves will fulfill.

Prayer is the greatest aid to maintaining positive thoughts. When we invite God into any situation, He will come – and His presence is always one of power, energy and light. He may not reveal Himself immediately, but He is not absent from that moment forward. An old saying goes, “the Lord may not come when you want Him to, but He’s always right on time.” But it is up to us to invite him. A simple “Lord have mercy,” or “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner” is powerful enough to do this.

Prayer cracks the stronghold of negative or defeatist thinking. God is all-powerful. He created the world out of nothing. There is no situation in our lives too difficult, nor too trivial, for God’s help and action. But again, it’s up to us to make the first move, and to persist in our supplications.

Discouraging thoughts are not necessarily irrational. Often, they are mixed with truths, or half-truths. Sometimes thoughts come to us from others, sometimes from ourselves. But what others think is ultimately meaningless. Only God’s “opinion” matters. Take, for example, both Joseph and David. Both were called by God to be kings, yet both came from large families in which their own brothers and parents did not believe in their calling or abilities. Both were unjustly accused; one imprisoned, the other persecuted. Yet by keeping their eyes focused on God, they did what no one thought they could do. They overcame the negativity and discouragement of others.

Often, however, our own thoughts are more difficult to conquer than those coming from others. Here we only wrestle with ourselves. This is why prayer is so important – prayer is the bringing in of another, independent perspective: that of God.

How do we know if thoughts come to us from God, or from the devil? What should we do if thoughts of our failings and sins are presented to us? The Fathers give a simple rule: if the thought of a past failing discourages us to the point of depression, draining all our energy and zeal, tempting us to quit every struggle for virtue, or to remain complacent, it is from the devil. If, however, the sorrow such a thought brings gives us a desire to change, energy to repent, fast, pray, forgive, etc., it is from God. St Paul himself talks about these two sorrows: one which is worldly, and brings death; one which is godly, and brings zeal and energy to change (2 Cor 7:10).

If we turn our thoughts over to God for His judgment, they become pure, and catalysts to a correctly ordered life. More than this, healthy even in the midst of great trials. Only a soul filled with God’s love is such, and the first step is in our thinking. Love for God leads to pure thinking, and vice versa. “Love is essentially the banishment of every kind of contrary thought, for love thinks no evil (I Cor 13:5),” wrote St John of the Ladder.

Our thoughts must be turned over to God, such that their effects will be positive. Yes, we need to encourage ourselves in our inner monologue, but most importantly, we need to bring God into our thinking and hearts by prayer. Then our thoughts will become seeds of transformation and victory in our lives, aiding and abetting us to fulfill God’s purposes.

The article above is by the pastor of the Holy Cross Orthodox Church in Hermitage, PA, the Rev. Hieromonk Calinic (Berger), from his column in Solia, the diocesan publication of the Romanian Orthodox Episcopate of America: http://www.holycrosshermitagepa.org/files/2008_01_GuardingThoughts.pdf (Link now broken)

Anonymous 10/24/25 Anonymous 10/24/25

On the Nativity Fast

It all begins with an idea.

December 2011

Make ready, O Bethlehem: let the manger be prepared, let the cave show its welcome. The truth has come, the shadow has passed away...1

The herald of the pending miracle begins. It is the Eve of the Nativity as these words are sung. The transformation of the world, the birth of God, is but hours away, and it is through such words that the faithful are called into attentiveness and anticipation. ‘Make ready, O Bethlehem!’ We can see the radiant lights of of the feast just beyond the horizon, we can taste the sweetness of the miracle that took place beneath a star; and through the words sung around and within us in the Church, the great eve of the birth of God is made a reality in our present experience. We make ready, and we wait.

But this is not the first moment of preparation for the Feast. For ‘forty days’, with the usual adjustments to that length for Sabbaths and Sundays causing it to begin on 15 November 2, the Church has been setting herself in readiness, drawing her attention to the mystery to come, waiting in expectation. She has made use of the great joy that will arrive on Christmas day as occasion to take up the task considered by so many as opposite to joy: fasting, with all its rigour, its harshness, its discomfort. These are the steps which, for Orthodox Christians throughout the world, lead to the radiant wonder of the Nativity of Christ.

Whence the spirit of this fast, which each year ‘stands in the way’ of our arrival at Christmas rejoicing? The question itself helps guide the way to an answer: the fast seems awkward because so often we see Christmas as joy alone and do not appreciate fully the deep and profound mystery that is at the heart of our rejoicing. ‘Hark, the herald angels sing!’ we are eager to recall, but quietly we forget the universal significance of the event that is the cause of their singing. It is not just that a babe is born: He who is without birth is born. He who created all is made a created child. He who holds the universe in the palm of His hand, is held in the hands of a tender mother.

Before Thy birth, O Lord, the angelic hosts looked with trembling on this mystery and were struck with wonder: for Thou who hast adorned the vault of heaven with stars hast been well pleased to be born as a babe; and Thou who holdest all the ends of the earth in the hollow of Thy hand art laid in a manger of dumb beasts. For by such a dispensation has Thy compassion been made known, O Christ, and Thy great mercy: glory to Thee. (Sticheron of the Third Hour, Eve of the Nativity)

We do not tremble when we think of Christmas, we are not always struck with the wonder of the Nativity. Instead, we buy gifts and plan parties, catching a glimpse of the joy of the Feast, but without a heart immersed in its wonder. Thus the fast becomes that which we must ‘get through’ in order to reach that joyful day. When we arrive there, however, if this has been our attitude, we are caught askance by the hymns the Church feeds into our hearts. We find ourselves joined to a celebration of triumphal release from bondage, but we little understand what that bondage means. We sing songs of joy for deliverance, but we do not truly comprehend how we are enslaved. We find ourselves suddenly transported to the mountaintop, but without having climbed there from the valley far below, the scene we see is only another beautiful picture casually set before our eyes, and not the vision for which we have worked and struggled and longed with all our being. We may feel joy, perhaps even Christmas joy; but we will know, deep inside, that our joy is not like that which is exalted in the hymn:

Make glad, O ye righteous! Greatly rejoice, O ye heavens! Ye mountains, dance for joy! Christ is born; and like the cherubim the Virgin makes a throne, carrying at her bosom God the Word made flesh. Shepherds, glorify the newborn Child! Magi, offer the Master gifts! Angels, sing praises, saying: ‘O Lord past understanding, glory to Thee!’ (First sticheron of the Praises, Nativity Matins)

A Time of Preparation

The Fast of the Nativity is the Church’s wise solace and aid to human infirmity. We are a forgetful people, but our forgetfulness is not unknown to God; and our hearts with all their misconceptions and weakened understandings are not unfamiliar to the Holy Spirit who guides and sustains this Church. We who fall far from God through the magnitude of our sin, are called nonetheless to be close to Him. We who run afar off are called to return. Through the fast that precedes the great Feast of the Incarnation -- which itself is the the heart and substance of our calling -- the Church helps draw us into the full mystery of what that call entails.

Like Great Lent, the fast of the Nativity is a journey. ‘Come, O ye faithful, and let us behold where Christ is born. Let us join the Magi, kings from the east, and follow the guiding star’ 3. Let us ‘join the Magi’, let us ‘follow’ and ‘behold’. On the fifteenth of November, the Church joins together in a journey toward that salvation first promised to Adam in God’s curse laid upon the serpent (Gen 3.14-15). The One who will crush the head of the serpent, of sin and the devil and all that is counter to the life God offers, is Him to whom the star leads us. The fast of the Nativity is our journey into the new and marvellous life of the Holy Trinity, which is offered by God but which we must approach of our own volition. In this act, we are joined to the story of our fathers. The gift of a new land and great blessings was freely given by God to Abraham, but in order to obtain it, ‘Abram went, as the Lord had told him’ (Gen 12.4).

A journey is, by its nature, naturally ascetic. Unless my life is already very humble, I cannot take the whole of my possessions on a journey. I cannot transport social and political ties along a journey’s path. I can never be too reliant on the plans I have made for my journey: a control lying beyond the self must be admitted and accepted. This is the spirit to which the fast calls us.

A journey is, by its nature, an act of movement, of transportation, of growth. What is old is left behind, newness is perceived and embraced, growth of understanding takes place. And even if the journey comes to a close in the same physical location from which it began, that place is transformed for us by the journey through which we have re-approached it. The aid shelter on a street corner in London is no different after a journey to the Middle East; but after witnessing there first-hand the struggles and torments of poverty, of suffering, of sorrow, the meaning and importance of that small shelter is indeed different for me.

Here the importance of the fast. As the Nativity approaches, that great feast of cosmic significance and eternal, abounding joy for which heaven and earth together rejoice, the fast calls me to consider: do I rejoice? Why do I rejoice? The hymnography of the Church makes it clear that this is a feast for all the world, for all creation; and the fast calls me to take my place in that creation, to realise that, despite all my infinite unworthiness, Christmas is a miracle for my soul too.

Make ready, O Bethlehem: let the manger be prepared, let the cave show its welcome. The truth has come, the shadow has passed away; born of a Virgin, God has appeared to men, formed as we are and making godlike the garment He has put on. Therefore Adam is renewed with Eve, and they call out: ‘Thy good pleasure has appeared on earth to save our kind’.

Adam and Eve, all of humankind, are renewed and made alive in the Incarnation of God in Christ, who ‘appeared on earth to save our kind’. Fallen flesh, so long bound to death, so long yearning in for growth and maturation into the fullness of life, is sewn into the garment of Christ and at last made fully alive. There is a pleasing old saying, with perhaps more than a touch of truth to it, that humankind drew its first full breath at the infant Christ’s first cry.

We are called, then, to approach this great mystery as God’s condescension into our own lives, personally and collectively. The Canon of Matins for the Nativity lays it out clearly: ‘He establishes a path for us, whereby we may mount up to heaven’ 4. The Nativity is not only about God’s coming down to us, but about our rising up to Him, just as sinful humanity was lifted up into the person of Christ in the Incarnation itself.

We are called to arise, then, during the fast that is the journey into this Feast. ‘O blessed Lord who seest all, raise us up far above sin, and establish Thy singers firm and unshaken upon the foundation of the faith’ 5. The faithful take up this call through the abandonment of those things which bind, rather than free, in order that a focus on God as ‘all in all’ might become ever more real and central to daily life.

Meals are lessened and regimented, that a constant, lingering hunger may remind us of the great need we each have for spiritual food that goes beyond our daily bread. The number of Church services is gradually increased, that we might know whence comes that true food. Sweets and drink are set aside, that we might never feel content with the trivial and temporal joys of this world. Parties and social engagements are reduced, that we might realise that all is not so well with us as we often take it to be. Anything which holds the slightest power over us, whether cigarettes or television, travel or recreation, is minimized or -- better -- cast wholly aside, that we might bring ourselves to be possessed and governed only by God.

The fast is an ascetic time, designed by the Church to strip away common stumbling blocks into sin, to provide us with the means of self-perception that we lack in our typical indulgence, and to begin to grow the seeds of virtue. All these are necessary if we are ever to know even partially, or appreciate even menially, the ‘depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God’ 6. We must take up the task of our own purification, gifted by God and achieved only through His grace, that we might approach Him on Christmas Day as did the Magi and the shepherds in Bethlehem:

Come, O ye faithful, inspired by God let us arise and behold the divine condescension from on high that is made manifest to us in Bethlehem. Cleansing our minds, let us offer through our lives virtues instead of myrrh, preparing with faith our entry into the feast of the Nativity, storing up treasure in our souls and crying: Glory in the highest to God in Trinity, whose good pleasure is now revealed to men, that in His love for mankind He may set Adam free from the ancestral curse. (Sticheron of the Sixth Hour, Christmas Eve)

True Joy in the Mystery of the Nativity

The Church journeys toward the birth of Christ God, steered by the ship that is the Nativity fast. She does so with the knowledge that unless she struggles up the mountain that is desperately too steep for her to climb, she will never know the breadth of the gift that is the mountain’s levelling by the hand of God. Resurrection unto life is the ultimate gift of the Incarnation, but unless a man understands that he is dead, he will never know the meaning of resurrection.

The fast is a holy and blessed tool that brings us closer to such self awareness. It reveals to us who we are, perhaps more importantly who we are not, and makes us more consciously aware of that for which we stand in need. Then and only then, with eyes opened -- even only partially -- by the ascetic endeavour, we will truly know the life-giving light of the Nativity of Christ. We will hear with awe the proclamation of the hymn at vespers, taking the mystery presented therein as united directly to us:

Come, let us greatly rejoice in the Lord as we tell of this present mystery. The middle wall of partition has been destroyed; the flaming sword turns back, the cherubim withdraw from the tree of life, and I partake of the delight of Paradise from which I was cast out through disobedience. For the express Image of the Father, the Imprint of His eternity, takes the form of a servant, and without undergoing change He comes forth from a Mother who knew not wedlock. For what He was, He has remained, true God: and what He was not, He has taken upon himself, becoming man through love for mankind. Unto Him let us cry aloud: God born of a Virgin, have mercy upon us! (Sticheron of Vespers of the Nativity)

We will never fully comprehend this ineffable mystery; some knowledge is properly God’s alone. But by His grace through the ascetic effort, we will come to understand -- perhaps, most of us, only to the slightest degree -- how this mystery is our own mystery, how His life is our own life, and how the salvation of Christmas Day is, indeed, our own salvation. And with this realisation, joy: joy far greater than a mere entrance into the temple on Christmas Day could ever bring us. This is the joy of the age-old journey of man, our own journey, come to its fulfilment in the awe-inspiring mystery of God Himself become a man. With this joy in our hearts, we shall embrace the hymnographer’s words as our own:

Today the Virgin comes to the cave to give birth ineffably to the pre-eternal Word. Hearing this, be of good cheer, O inhabited earth, and with the angels and the shepherds glorify Him whose will it was to be made manifest a young Child, the pre-eternal God. (Kontakion of the Forefeast)

Article from Monachos.net with permission: http://www.monachos.net/content/liturgics/liturgical-reflections/97 (Link no longer works but left here for attribution.)

Notes:

1. Sticheron at the Royal Hours, by St Sophronius of Jerusalem.

2. According to the Church Calendar; 28th November on the civil calendar.

3. Sessional Hymn of the Nativity Matins.

4. Irmos of Canticle Two, from the Iambic (second) Canon of the Nativity Matins.

5. Irmos of Canticle Three, Iambic Canon of Nativity Matins.

6. Cf. Romans 11.33; found in the sticheron in tone four from the Sixth Hour of Christmas Eve.

Fr Christopher Foley 10/24/25 Fr Christopher Foley 10/24/25

Man as Priest of Creation

It all begins with an idea.

Rev. Christopher Foley

June 2011

I came to discover Orthodoxy during a time in my life where I was very heavily involved in performing and writing music. Growing up as an Evangelical Christian and attending a small liberal arts Evangelical College in Northeast Georgia, I struggled for a number of years with reconciling my involvement in music with my Christian faith. How does one maintain both artistic and Christian integrity? Was music only a tool to carry a message? What makes music inherently Christian or non-Christian? How does one appropriately bring the totality of one’s Faith into one’s music or any art form for that matter? Why this need to dichotomize everything in the Christian ghetto? Wasn’t there simply a way to just “be’? Couldn’t one simply be a Christian who performs music without apology? These were many of the questions that I had as a young adult. I had experienced a profound sense of the joy of the creative process while writing, performing and recording music with a band of very close friends who were also Christians. Somehow, intuitively I sensed this as a participation in the creative energy of God. I just didn’t have words for it at the time. The problem was that our band never fit the mold in the Christian music industry. We were much more content playing and pursuing music in a mainstream context. We were simply musicians who were Christians and were trying to create something worthwhile and beautiful.

It was during this time as a college student that I began to study Eastern Orthodoxy and found that it began to answer some of these tough questions. I found that the emphasis on the Incarnation of Christ stressed the goodness of creation and that now matter is united to God. This means that matter matters and beauty is not just something external to God (i.e. – optional) but an energy emanating from from God Himself – an absolute. I discovered that the early Church rejected anything that divided or separated Christ’s humanity from His divinity. As I learned more about the Orthodox faith, I found that the Orthodox teaching that every aspect of life is sacramental underpinned every teaching of Christ and the Church . This idea that matter matters speaks profoundly to faith as it relates to the creative process.

As Orthodox Christians we believe that the Lord is present and fillest all things. Because of the Incarnation of our Lord, now everything CAN become a means of communion with God IF we have the eyes to see it and if we are able to offer up our creativity to God as a priest of creation. This idea is articulated best by Fr. Alexander Schmemann when, in For the Life of the World he says, man’s primary vocation is to be a priest of creation who offers up all of one’s life to God in thanksgiving, as we pray in the Divine Liturgy: “Thine own of Thine own we offer unto Thee on behalf of all and for all.” If, as we embark on our creative endeavors, we keep in mind these words of St John Chrysostom, “Thine own of Thine own,” our creative endeavors will themselves become a form of prayer and honor to our creator .

Seems easy enough, no? But if we look at the world around us, and sometimes even within the church, it is clear that we tend to place God in a sphere called “religious” and have ceased being able to see Him in all things. This has caused the world and everything in it to be a closed circuit. Fr. Alexander goes on to say that man “does not know that breathing can be communion with God. He does not realize that to eat can be to receive life from God in more than a physical sense.” I think this can be said about the creative process. Whether one is is explicitly “Christian” in one’s creativity or implicitly so, God can still be glorified. The touch point between creativity and faith is the inner disposition of the heart in its relation to giving thanks and praise to God. In short, we must be sure that the Word of God is in our hearts when we articulate our God given creative spirit.

Again, seems easy enough, keep God in our heart and we can be sure our creative energy is being used for the glory of God. But to keep God in our hearts at all times requires a number of things, but most importantly it requires us to take a responsible ownership for our faith and our relationship with God. This ownership and faith is first and foremost cultivated through the sacramental and liturgical life of the Church accomplished through participation in a community of faithful. In practically applying the aforementioned ideas of Fr Alexander, in trying to offer up the totality of one’s life in thanks and praise to God, we are greatly aided by the basic task of trying to live in accordance with and fulfillment of the Gospel commandments – the love of god and the love of neighbor. As we allow ourselves to see that our life is and must be one with God we then begin to make greater sense of our worship. During the Divine Liturgy we sing, ”we praise Thee, we bless Thee, we give thanks unto Thee, and we pray unto Thee O our God.” This includes all of our life – our pursuits, our vocation, our relationships and, yes, our creativity. Let us imagine the priest carrying not only the bread and wine but all of the tools of the creative process in procession at the great Entrance – paintbrush, computer, pen, instruments, etc. Not that we should actually carry other items in the Great Entrance, but rather that we remember that The Divine Liturgy teaches and reminds us that all of life is to be offered up to God in thanksgiving. The bread and wine are the culmination and embodiment of all of our creative endeavors and the fullest expression of our creative tools. Is this not what our liturgy teaches us – how to bring the Life given back to us as food back into the world? This is what St. Maria Skobstova calls the “eternal offering of the divine liturgy beyond the Church walls” or what St. John Chrysostom calls the “liturgy after the Liturgy.” The creative and faithful “priest of creation” is one “who makes of one’s life a liturgy, a prayer, a doxology, to make of it a sacrament of perpetual communion,” as Paul Evdokimov says.

The artist, through this God given creativity, has the responsibility to offer up this talent to God and to do something with it like in the parable of the talents. We are to glorify God in everything that we do. Thus to create something beautiful with a spirit of excellence and attention to detail, one can lift up and offer oneself to God. This is really how faith and creativity can converge for the Orthodox Christian. Paul Evdokimov sums it up nicely as a vision for life when he says, “all of life, every act, every gesture, even the smile of the human face, must become a hymn of adoration, an offering, a prayer. One should offer not what one has, but what one is.” We can simply add that for an Orthodox Christian who is involved in the creative process every note, every stroke of the brush, every word must be something offered up in thanksgiving and praise to God as the Creator Himself – the source and origin of all things.

Glory to God for all things!

John Boojamra 10/24/25 John Boojamra 10/24/25

Some Reflections on Fasting

It all begins with an idea.

by John Boojamra

March 2011

Fasting, or more correctly, the practice of abstinence for certain days and certain periods of the year, has long caused difficulty in the minds of many Orthodox in North America. Every year, as the Easter lent approaches, Orthodox begin to wonder what, if anything, to do in preparation for the feast. (Very little direction has come from the hierarchs of the Church by way of guidelines or explanations and each parish priest, if he does more than simply announce that the fast is beginning, will say something different.) In general, I think it is safe to say that the practice and idea of fasting is largely ignored. Many people generally dismiss fasting with the rather simple and naive “This is the twentieth century; those rules were made for the past and simpler days.”

Nonetheless, in spite of practice of most people, we must take the practice of fasting seriously, if for no other reason than other people, throughout Christian history, have taken it seriously. It is valuable here to consider not so much “how” to fast, as “why” fast. This deeper understanding of the reason for this practice in Christianity will help us in determining our own fasting practices.

We must first admit that fasting has a firm foundation in the Scripture and Tradition of the Church, as well as the practice of the Jewish community which gave birth to the Church. We know for instance that Jesus fasted, that the disciples of John the Baptist fasted, and that Jesus said that prayer and fasting were necessary for casting out certain evils.

Fasting And This World

To this emphasis we must add a certain otherworldly emphasis in Jesus’ teaching. Perhaps the most realistic treatment of this is in Matthew (6:19-21).

Do not lay up for yourselves treasure on earth, where moth and rust consume and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be.

In spite of the great love which Jesus and His Church have demonstrated for the world and life in the world, there is in Christianity a reservation about the world and human life as it is now. The Church calls it “fallen world,” a world in all its aspects in some way separated voluntarily from the love, and life of God, its Creator. Fasting must be seen in this light —”Seek first the kingdom of God and all else will be added.” It is a matter of priority. Fasting cannot be separated from a struggle for the Kingdom of God and from a realistic appraisal of what the world is. There is something about fasting, something about refusing, as it were, to make a total investment in the world as it is, that is associated with the struggle to build the Kingdom of God.

Before discussing what fasting is, perhaps it would be beneficial to say a few words about what it is not. This is a valuable approach since there is a great deal of misunderstanding regarding the nature and function of fasting, both as an idea and as a practice.

God, we must admit first, is not simple-minded: He has no need of our fasting. Our efforts do not affect Him in any way. We cannot buy His love or His grace. This immediately takes fasting out of any legalistic framework and puts it on the level of personal spiritual growth and struggle. For instance, because one person fasts more strictly than another does not mean that God loves the first more or gives him more grace. It is as unimaginable that you could get more grace from a greater effort as getting more grace from a larger portion of the Eucharist.

Yet many people think of it in strictly legalistic terms. God’s love is always given freely and the degree of participation in that love is conditioned by our ability to receive it and be changed by it. This is the brilliant Orthodox idea of cooperation or synergy — we must open ourselves to the love and strength that God offers freely. Fasting is a way of achieving this openness.

Another view of fasting, which, like the previous one contains an element of distortion, is that which sees it as a means of voluntary suffering, a way of atoning for sins. Indeed, there may very well be an element of this in fasting, but this cannot be a predominant one. This would bring the practice to the level of individual pathology. Again, we cannot pay God back for our sins and fasting as a means of atoning for sins must be seen in the light of trying to reshape our spiritual lives in a more positive direction.

A third view of fasting is common among both Christians and non-Christians. This view mistakenly sees fasting in the history of the Church as an expression of a pathological morbidity with regard to the world, which is based on a dualistic view — the world, the body, sex, all created and material things are essentially evil; all spiritual things are good. Hence, fasting is an effort to disconnect the self from the use of matter — food, sex, etc. There has indeed been a tendency towards this in the Christian history, but it has been consistently condemned by the Church when it expressed itself. The Church has always affirmed that the created world is essentially good, though suffering from a profound distortion and misdirection.

Fasting As Preparation

What fasting is will necessarily involve us in a discussion of the nature of man and the nature of the world. Fasting is, as the Church uses it, a preparation. Every time we encounter a fast it is prior to a feast. We all know the fast before the Eucharist as preparation for the Eucharist and the fast before Easter as preparation for the great feast. Nothing in life just happens; that is obvious; all sorts of things require a variety of preparations. The Church recognizes the fact that part of getting somewhere is the trip and more than the trip, the anticipation. This is a basic human psychological quality. Perhaps children understand this expectation and anticipation best of all. Full participation demands this kind of expectation and preparation. Now, the nature of Orthodox preparation is no mystery. The Church has taught that man is a unity, he is not a being which has a body and which has a soul; rather, he is a body and he is a soul. The Christian vision is that of a total and unified personality — body and soul. Hence, the Church calls on the entire being to share in the fast and the feast. A season changes in Church — the colors change, the music changes, the services get longer, the icon changes. How does our body share in this except through fasting, except through initiating a change in its normal procedure. Now this description keeps the nature and degree of fasting open. It can involve food, entertainment, sex, in fact, any aspect of our daily and routine lives. It is clear that we Orthodox are not spiritualists or intellectualists, we are Christian “materialists.” The Church’s emphasis on fasting is precisely a reflection of this materialism.

Our Lord says, “lay not up treasures on earth” and fasting is in effect the reminder that our heart cannot be invested like our money in the world. We all know the feeling we have for something when we have an investment in it. People always try to protect their investment. This is natural. That is what our Lord meant. Here we find a rejection of the world, not in an absolute sense, but in a relative sense. The world in itself is valuable only when it is seen in its relationship to God. Since the world is in effect separated from God, freely, then it cannot be fully normal and the Church says limit your participation in the life of the world, not because it is evil, but because it in itself is limited.

Food is the most obvious example. Everyone agrees that eating, after the process of breathing, is the most necessary and normal activity of our life. It is in this area which is regarded in a worldly sense as normal that the Church says stop! think! question everything which the world calls normal and necessary, because the world itself is “abnormal.”. That is, it is abnormal as it now exists apart from God’s love. But fasting is only a beginning and this questioning must be our approach to all the values that the world regards as necessary and even virtuous — victory, self defense, getting ahead, accumulating wealth and property, competition, popularity, self-aggrandizement. All of these are then signed with a question mark.

Fasting And A Clear Image Of The World

Mind you, this is not a rejection of the world, it is a questioning of the values which the world as it now exists, and human societies which characterize it, hold as valuable. Inasmuch as the world is treated as normal, because this is in fact all we know, and inasmuch as it is not normal or truly worldly in the Christian sense, then it is a deception and a lie and we must tell it as it is. In a real sense the Church in asking her people to fast is declaring a moratorium on the world. Remember the various moratoria against the Vietnam war? The same idea is implied. The war had been going on for almost ten years on an incredibly brutal level characterized by My Lai, yet everyone went about his business, apart from inflation which was blamed on pay raises, no one’s life was really affected. We bought our food, celebrated all those little occasions, there was no shortage of butter or meat or autos. The very normalcy of life here at home, at the same time that wholesale death swept Southeast Asia, was a deception. On a cosmic level, the fast is this effort to put the world and life in the world in its proper perspective. To accept the present patterns of the world as normal is a deception! There is no hate for the world in this and it recognizes that something has happened to the worldliness which God created.

I think we must then see fasting, never as a rejection of food or the world, but as a search for true worldliness; a search which must necessarily pass through the stage of preferring something else to the world. “Seek first the kingdom of God and all else will be given to you.” In the same way we fast from all food before liturgy so that we might receive the one true food in the Eucharist. It is in the Eucharist that we can get a glimpse of the true nature of food. There is no judgment on food as such. The same is true of the world. As food completes itself in the Eucharist, so the entire created world completes itself in the Kingdom of God.

The world is ours, it belongs to us and needless to say we were not meant to be slaves to its pleasures, its categories, and its values. Fasting is then a declaration of independence from the world and a proclamation of victory over its limitations and evil. “Be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

It is a recognition that the values of the world are limited and often perverted. Here we are freed, liberated in a real sense, not only from sin but from the fears that characterize life, free to act without fear of criticism as God wants us to act in our everyday life, in politics, in business, in social affairs.

Nothing in human society, the fast declares, is sacred in itself and can demand our loyalty, no form of government, no regime. We are freed to conform to the patterns of the Kingdom of God here and now —love, charity, justice, faith. To those for whom the world is the ultimate reality and the ultimate value it is essential to buy the love of the world and the world will only love those who accept its values. Our Lord assures us that the world will hate us; it has to, because the Christian is the on-going judgment on an on-going corruption that infects human relations and human societies.

For us Christians who live in the world, we are offered a choice: we can consume the world or allow the world to consume us. The first is the only creative approach. The second is psychological and personal disintegration. The fast is what gives us this opportunity.

God, we must admit first, is not simple-minded: He has no need of our fasting - Our efforts do not affect Him in any way. We cannot buy His love or His grace. This immediately takes fasting out of any legalistic framework and puts it on the level of personal spiritual growth and struggle.

Article reprinted from: http://www.orthodoxresearchinstitute.org/articles/liturgics/boojamra_fasting.htm

Fr John Mefrige 10/23/25 Fr John Mefrige 10/23/25

Peacemaking & Conflict Resolution

It all begins with an idea.

by Fr. John Mefrige

October 2010

Although Christ proclaims, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God,” too often we see the children of the Church embroiled in destructive conflict and controversy. Has there ever been a parish council free from conflict? Who has not experienced rancorous divisions among fellow parishioners? Who does not know Orthodox families who have gone through acrimonious divorces? We can shrug it off, saying such conflict is “normal” and do our best to survive it. But in reality conflict often leaves behind enduring damage – severed relationships, broken ties, people left scarred and embittered.

Should we Christians not do better than this? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could respond to conflict in gracious and constructive ways? Might we learn how to handle conflict so as to build relationships rather than harm them? I believe we can – that we can learn to see conflict as a way to minister to each other and to glorify God. We can harness conflict as a transforming power toward growth and healthy change.

Christ gives us a model of handling conflict constructively when a young man approaches and asks his help in settling an inheritance. Instead of behaving as a judge, Christ addresses the underlying issue: “Take heed and beware of all covetousness, for a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” He then illustrates this truth in the parable of the rich fool. (Lk 12:13-21)

When faced with conflict, we often focus on what the other person has done wrong. In contrast, scripture and Church tradition call us to focus primarily on what is going on in our own hearts when we are at odds with another. In the Lenten prayer of St. Ephraim the Syrian, we are called first to see our own sins, and not to judge our brother. Why? Because according to scripture, the human heart is the wellspring of conflicts. “For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.” (Mt 15:19) The heart’s central role in conflict is vividly described in the epistle of James:

What causes wars, and what causes fights among you? Is it not your passions that are at war in your bodily parts? You desire and do not have; so you kill. And you covet and cannot obtain; so you fight and wage war. (James 4:1)

This passage hints at the underlying cause of destructive conflict: conflicts arise from unmet desires within what the Church Fathers call the “heart.” When scripture and the Fathers speak of the heart, they mean both the spiritual heart (nous) and the physical heart (kardias) – the place reserved for the contemplation of God, the center of our being where we have communion and union with God. When the desire for something earthly replaces our desire for God, we commit idolatry.

When we feel we cannot be satisfied until we have something we think we need, desire becomes a demand. In relationships, if someone frustrates or fails to meet our desires, we judge him or her in our hearts, and a fight ensues. In short, conflict arises when desires grow into demands, and then we judge and punish those who oppose us. This is the normal progression in the establishment of an idol, and an idol always demands sacrifice. Let’s look at the four stages of idolatry one step at a time

Stage 1: “I Desire”:

Conflict always begins with some kind of desire. According to scripture, some desires, such as vengeance, lust or greed, are categorically evil. But many desires – the desire for peace and quiet, a clean home, an intimate relationship with a spouse, or children who are respectful and well-behaved – are not wrong in themselves. If a good and holy desire is not being met – for example, there are problems in a marriage – the two partners need to talk about it together. They may discover ways that they can better understand, help and serve each other. It may be a slow and difficult process. One partner may be unwilling to discuss particular issues. Husband and wife then stand at a crossroads where conflict can either be avoided, even at the cost of stagnation, or seen as opening a gateway to growth. Each has a choice between dwelling on frustrations and allowing these to control his or her life – which is likely to result in self-pity and bitterness – or actively looking for solutions while continuing to love the other and praying for God’s help (and also the help from others, such as a marital therapist).

Stage 2: “I Demand”:

Unmet desires can work themselves deeper into our hearts, especially when we perceive a desire as something we need for our happiness or fulfillment. We justify and legitimize desires:

I work hard all week. Don’t I deserve a little peace and quiet when I come home?
I worked two jobs to put you through school; I deserve your respect and attention.
I spend hours managing the family budget; I deserve a new car.
My family has been in this church for generations; we deserve to be recognized.
I have given a lot of money to this church – you’d better listen to what I say.
Scripture says a husband and wife should be one flesh. I need more sexual intimacy.
I only want what God commands – children who respect and honor their parents.

Each of these demands contains an element of truth, but we find it easy to let unmet desires lead to destructive entitlement. The more we think we are entitled to something, the more convinced we are that we cannot be happy or secure without it. Again, this is the normal progression in establishing an idol. “I wish I could have this” becomes “I must have this.”

Even if the initial desire was not inherently wrong, it has grown so strong that it becomes an idol that controls our thoughts and affects our behavior. According to scripture, an idol is something other than God that we set our hearts on (Lk 12:29), that motivates us (1 Co 4:5), that rules us (Ps 119:133; Eph 5:5), or that we trust, fear, or serve (Is 42:17; Mt 6:24; Lk 12:4-5). In short, it is something we love and pursue in place of God. (Php 3:19) The reality is that every sincere Christian must struggle with idolatry. We may believe in God and profess the Creed, but at times we allow other influences to rule us.

The question then arises, how can we discern the deterioration of a good desire into a sinful demand. We begin by looking inward and asking ourselves these questions to reveal the true condition of our hearts:

What am I preoccupied with? What is the first thing on my mind in the morning and the last thing on my mind at night?
How would I complete this statement: “If I only had [x] I would be happy.”
What do I want to preserve or avoid?
Where do I put my trust, and what do I fear?
When a certain desire is not met, do I feel frustration, anxiety, resentment, bitterness, anger, or depression?
Is there something I desire so much that I am willing to disappoint or hurt others in order to have it?

As we search our hearts for idols, we often encounter multiple layers of concealment, confusion and justification. One of the most subtle ways in which we may develop a sinful demand is to argue that we want things that are in and of themselves good and holy. A mother may desire that her children be respectful and obedient to her and kind to one another. When they do not fulfill these goals, even after her repeated encouragement or correction, she may feel frustrated, angry, or resentful. She needs to ask herself, “Why am I feeling this way? Is it a righteous anger, or selfish anger?” Most often it will be a mixture of both. Part of her truly wants to see her children grow in the image of God, but another part of her is motivated by a desire for her own comfort and convenience. She must ask which desire is really controlling her heart.

If the God-centered desire is ruling her heart, her response to disobedient children would resemble God’s discipline toward us. “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love.” (Ps 103:8) As she imitates God’s love for us, she will respond as in Galatians 6:1: “If someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.” Although her discipline may be direct and firm, it will be wrapped in gentleness and love, and leave no residue of resentment.

On the other hand, if her desire for comfort and convenience has become an idol, she will react with harsh anger and hurtful words or discipline. She may feel bitterness or resentment because of her frustrated desires. Even after disciplining her children, she may maintain a lingering coolness or a distance toward them that extends their punishment and warns them not to cross her again. If attitudes and actions of this sort tend to characterize her response, it is a sign that her desire for godly children has probably evolved into an idolatrous demand.

Stage 3: “I Judge”:

In judging, we play God. A sign of idolatry is the inclination to judge. When people fail to satisfy our demands, we criticize and condemn them in our hearts, if not with our words. The truth is that when we judge others – criticize, nit-pick, attack, condemn – we are literally acting like a god. We commit the sin of Lucifer, coveting the judgment seat reserved only for God. Scripture tells us clearly that “There is one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you that you judge your neighbor?” (James 4:12)

When we fight, accusations fill our minds. We play the self-righteous judge in the mini-kingdoms we establish in our families, workplaces, and churches. When we judge others and condemn them in our hearts for not meeting our desires, we are imitating not Christ but the Devil. We have doubled our idolatry: we have let an idolatrous desire rule our hearts, and we have set ourselves up as mini-gods. This is the formula for destructive conflict.

This is not to say that it is inherently wrong to evaluate – even judge – others within certain limits. Scripture teaches that we should observe and evaluate others’ behaviors so that we can respond and minister to them in appropriate ways, which may even involve gentle confrontation. (Mt 7:1-5, 18:15; Gal 6:1) But we cross the line when we begin to judge others based on feelings of superiority, indignation, condemnation, bitterness, or resentment. Sinful judging often involves speculating on others’ motives. Most of all, it reveals a self-centered love for ourselves and the absence of a genuine love and concern toward others. These attitudes show that our judging has crossed the line, and we are playing God. We expect more of those who are closer to us, and we are more likely to judge them when they fail to meet our expectations. We may look at our spouse and think, “If you really love me, you above all people will help meet this need.” Or we look to our children and say, “After all I’ve done for you, you owe this to me.” We can place similar expectations on relatives, close friends, or members of our church. Expectations are not inherently bad, but expectations can become conditions and standards against which we judge others. Instead of giving people room for independence, disagreement, or failure, we impose our expectations on them. We expect them to give allegiance to our idols. When they refuse, we condemn them in our hearts.

Stage 4: “I Punish”:

Idols demand sacrifices. Whether deliberately or unconsciously, we find many ways to hurt or punish people who refuse to gratify our desires. Sometimes we react aggressively in overt anger, with hurtful words toward those who fail to meet our expectations. Only if they give in to our desires and demands will we stop inflicting pain upon them. Children may use pouting, stomping, or dirty looks; adults, alike, may do the same. We may withhold our stewardship from the church as a punishment. Some may resort to physical violence or sexual abuse.

As we grow in the awareness of our sin, most of us recognize and reject these obviously sinful tactics. But our idols do not give up easily, and they often lead us to withdrawal from a relationship, giving the cold shoulder, withholding affection or physical contact, refusing to look someone in the eyes, ignoring phone calls, or abandoning a relationship altogether. Sending subtle, unpleasant cues over a long period of time is an age-old method. Often our churches and family relationships are filled with such behaviors. The message is “Either get in line with what I want, or you will suffer.” In reality, such behavior shows we depend on ourselves instead of relying on God. Inflicting pain on others is one of the surest signs that something other than God – an idol – is ruling our hearts. (Jam 4:1-3) These behaviors warn us. The psalmist counsels, “You take no delight in sacrifice. Were I to give a burnt offering, You would not be pleased. The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit. A broken and contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.” (Ps 50: 18-19)

The Cure for an Idolatrous Heart:

An idol, as we have seen, is any desire that has grown into a demand – something we love, fear, or invest with faith. Love, fear, faith … aren’t these terms of worship? In the Divine Liturgy we hear, “With fear of God, with faith, and love, draw near” at the very moment we are invited to receive the Body and Blood of Christ. In scripture we are commanded to love God, fear God, and have faith in God. (Mt 22:37; Lk 12:4-5; Jn 14:1) Any time we long for something other than God, fear something more than God, or trust in something other than God to make us happy, fulfilled, or secure, we are worshiping false gods. The way out of this bondage and judgment is to look to God Himself, who has provided the cure for our idolatry by sending His Son to free mankind from the bondage of sin and death. “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set me free from the law of sin and death.” (Rom 8:1-2)

Not only have we been freed from sin and death, but also from the specific day-to-day idols that control us and cause conflict with those around us. Our deliverance, however, does not consist of having all our idols swept away once and for all. Instead, we are called to identify and confess them one by one in the sacrament of confession. To receive forgiveness from God and freedom from our compelling sins, we must acknowledge them and repent. (Acts 3:19) When we do this, we are – by adoption – His children and heirs of the Kingdom. (Gal 4:4-7) This is the Gospel, the good news – forgiveness and eternal life through our Lord and God and Savior Jesus Christ!

In confession, we examine our hearts before the icon of Christ in a regular, ascetical practice to free ourselves from idols. With the priest’s help, we lay them before the Lord so that He can remove them from our hearts.

To prepare for confession, we do well to use a procedure involving several steps.

Prayerfully ask ourselves the questions listed previously to discern the desires that have begun ruling our hearts.
Record our discoveries in a journal to identify patterns and steadily go after specific idols.
Describe our idols in detail to our spiritual father, spouse, or an accountability partner; ask them to pray for us and confront us with any signs that the idol still controls us.
Realize that idols are masters of change and disguise. As soon as we gain victory over a particular sinful desire, our idol is likely to reappear in a related form, with a redirected desire and more subtle tactics.
In the case of a particularly difficult idol, we should seek assistance from a licensed professional or such twelve-step groups as Alcoholics Anonymous, Sexaholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, etc.

If someone told you that you had a cancer that would take your life if left untreated, you would spare no effort or expense to pursue the most effective treatment available. Well, we human beings living in this fallen world have a “cancer” of the soul: sin and idolatry. But the cure has been given to us freely on the cross of Christ. This cure is administered through the Word, the Spirit, and the Church. The more rigorously we avail ourselves of these means of grace, the more power we will have to be delivered from the idols that plague us.

Replacing Idol Worship with Worship of the True God:

Ultimately, idolatry is what we do when we do not fully satisfy ourselves in God, instead seeking other sources of happiness and security. If we want to eliminate the idols from our hearts and leave no room for them to return, the cure is to pursue whole-heartedly an all-consuming worship of the living God. We must ask God to teach us how to love, fear, and have faith in Him above all else.

Replacing idol worship with worship of the true God involves several steps:

Repent before God. “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.” (Ps 50:19; Isaiah 66:2b) This is true worship. (1 Jn 1:8-10)

Fear God. Stand in awe of the true God when we are tempted to fear another person or the loss of something precious. “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of all wisdom.” (Prov 1:7) “Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.” (Mt 10:28)

Love God. Desire the One who forgives us instead of looking to other things that cannot save: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind” and “Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Mt 22:37, 6:33)

Have faith in God. “It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man.” (Ps 118:8) “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” (Prov 3:5)

God has designed a wonderful cycle for those who want to worship Him above all things. As you love, praise, give thanks, and delight in God, you will look less to the things of this world for happiness, fulfillment, and security. By God’s grace, the influences of idolatry and conflict in your family will steadily diminish, and you and your family can enjoy the intimacy and security that come only from worshiping the one true God.

This article is reprinted from In Communion / Summer 2010 / issue 57 at http://www.incommunion.org.

Fr Christopher Foley 10/23/25 Fr Christopher Foley 10/23/25

“Cooking Theology” & the Cross

It all begins with an idea.

Fr. Christopher Foley

September 2010

A friend of mine recently said about baking banana bread, “I think my family and life is like the bread I just made... a lot of different ingredients... but turning out GREAT! How do rotten bananas make yummy bread? How do the bad things in life turn out good? Just a little cooking theology. Thank you God for family and the friends you gave me in this journey of life!” How profound. How simple. It is really in these moments of clarity, one’s life begins to make sense.

Our Lord became incarnate for us in order to fill all of our life with Himself. It is His presence within our life that fills our earthly existence with meaning and purpose. As Orthodox Christians we participate IN Christ. We put Him on at our Baptism. We offer our lives in sacrifice to Him as the universal priesthood of creation. We partake of Him in the Holy Mysteries for the healing of soul and body. We become participants in Christ. We then realize how Christ is present in all of the events of our life - one’s family, one’s occupation, one’s circumstances, one’s joys as well as heartbreaks. It is in these more difficult times that we have a harder time seeing clearly. As my friend put it, “How do rotten bananas make yummy bread? How do the bad things in life turn out good?”

Recently I came across two passages of Scripture that bring great consolation during difficult times of struggle. The first is found in St. Paul’s letter to the Romans (8:18-25). It reads:

“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. For the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly waits for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it in hope; because the creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now. Not only that, but we also who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body. For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance.”

I love this imagery of this earnest longing, this groaning to be redeemed, these “birth pangs.” This glorious hope and liberty of the children of God. I think we can relate to this indescribable longing and yearning that St. Paul speaks of. We find it hard to put it in words. This is the same longing of the prodigal son, upon “coming to himself” remembers the House of the Father. What consolation to read that the “sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” As Christians we have this eager expectation, this hope, which is in Christ. This culminates in our Eucharist prayer - this great and glorious Thanksgiving to God for this coming full redemption of our souls and bodies in Christ - partakers of His Divine Nature and His glorious resurrection. We come to know Christ and we come to know ourselves. We see for the first time our failures, our sin, ourselves stripped of any projection of who we think we are. We then descend with Christ to hell. This is where true growth begins. “The place of the skull becomes the place of Paradise.” “Thy tomb, O Christ, is the fountain of our resurrection.” We begin, out of this longing and groaning of creation, to yearn for participation in this Light of Christ.

This brings us to another reading which is found in St. Paul’s second letter to the Corinthians (4:6-15). It reads:

“Brethren, it is the God Who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness’ Who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, to show that the transcendent power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For while we live we are always being given up to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you. Since we have the same spirit of faith as he had who wrote, ‘I believed, and so I spoke,’ we too believe, and so we speak, knowing that He Who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and bring us with you into His presence. For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God.”

We begin to find that it is actually through our sufferings that we come to know the true power of Christ and His Cross in our life. We live in these “earthen vessels” to show that it is by God’s power that we are healed. We carry about in our bodies the death of Christ “so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.” The is the joy of the Cross. We will sing this month at our parish feast, “Through the cross, joy has come into all the world.” Christ came primarily to unite Himself to us - to become everything that we are, to experience everything that we experience. He brought us with Himself to this Cross of shame and made it a place of victory. This is why we are “afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed” because the power of the Cross tramples down death by Christ’s death. Thus when we venerate and lift high the Cross of our Lord, we are really offering up our life which is our living sacrifice - dying with Christ and raising with Him in a glorious resurrection.

This is the “rotten bananas” that become the yummy bread as my friend said. Let us all continue to groan and yearn for Christ with hopeful expectation. Let us remind ourselves that “He Who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and bring us with you into His presence.” This is what will cause to increase in us this thanksgiving “to the glory of God.” Amen.

Fr Michael Plekon 10/22/25 Fr Michael Plekon 10/22/25

Mother Maria: the Nun Whose Monastery was the World

It all begins with an idea.

Fr. Michael Plekon

February 2010

"We like it when the "churching" of life is discussed, but few people understand what it means. Indeed, must we attend all the church services in order to "church" our life? Or hang an icon in every room and burn an icon-lamp in front of it? No, the "churching of life" is the realization of the whole world as one great church, adorned with icons— persons who should be venerated, honored, and loved, because these icons are true images of God that have the holiness of the Living God within them.

We cannot see the Church as a sort of aesthetic perfection and limit ourselves to aesthetic swooning. Our God-given freedom calls us to activity and struggle. And it would be a great lie to tell searching souls: "Go to church, because there you will find peace." The opposite is true. She tells those who are at peace and asleep: "Go to church, because there you will feel real anguish for your sins, for your perdition, for the world's sins and perdition. There you will feel an unappeasable hunger for Christ's truth. There, instead of becoming lukewarm, you will be set on fire; instead of pacified, you will become alarmed; instead of learning the wisdom of this world you will become fools for Christ." 2

Mother Maria, born Elizaveta Pilenko in 1891 in Riga, Latvia was a precocious child, a favorite of the lay overseer of the Russian Orthodox Church Pobedonostsev. She was gifted in drawing, painting, poetry among other fields, and was among the first women allowed to study theology at the St. Petersburg Academy. Her literary talents drew her into the circles of the great writers Alexander Blok and Vyacheslav Ivanov. She was the first woman mayor of her family's country home-town, Anapa, on the Black Sea. Politically engaged, her loyalties shifted in the turbulent first decades of the twentieth century. She was put on trial by the retreating White Army and came close to execution by the Bolsheviks as a counterrevolutionary. Only a feigned connection to Lenin's wife saved her in the latter case. An early marriage ended in divorce, as did a second with the White Army officer, Daniel Skobtsov, who tried her for revolutionary crimes. Three children, Gaiana, Nastia and Iura, came from these marriages, and of these she would lose Nastia as a child to meningitis, Gaiana dying as a young adult back in Russia and her only son, Iura, packed off to a Nazi work camp and premature death there.

A Bohemian, artistic, nonconformist character, she was remembered by several, (including Metropolitan Anthony Bloom, Sophie Koloumzine and Elisabeth Behr-Sigel) with mixed feelings of admiration, affection and sadness. Drawn to assist the poor and suffering in the Russian émigré settlements of France, she received monastic tonsure and habit from Metropolitan Evlogy after the end of her second marriage. He said that the world and its suffering people would now become her monastery. She would put into practice "Orthodox Action," the name of the group of which she was a founder. In hostels, first in villa de Saxe, then in Rue de Lourmel and with a nursing home further out in Noisy-le-Grand, she created houses of hospitality, where meals, shelter, fellowship and counsel were available to any in need. In every one of these hostels the chapel, the altar, the Eucharist were the the heart of the work of service of the neighbor. Mother Maria spent much time cooking for her people. She also made beautiful vestments and icons for the chapel. She was always a participant in the Divine Liturgy, but would leave other services early or miss them entirely to assure there was food on the table. She put no opposition between Mary and Martha. She could make no distinction between the love of God and of the neighbor. The two great gospel commandments were for her in reality just one invitation to love:

Christ gave us two commandments: to love God and to love our fellow man. Everything else, even the commandments contained in the Beatitudes, is merely an elaboration of these two commandments, which contain within themselves the totality of Christ's "Good News." Furthermore, Christ's earthly life is nothing other than the revelation of the mystery of love of God and love of the neighbor. These are, in sum, not only the true but the only measure of all things. And it is remarkable that their truth is found only in the way they are linked together. Love for man alone leads us into the blind alley of an anti-Christian humanism, out of which the only exit is, at times, the rejection of the individual human being and love toward him in the name of all mankind. Love for God without love for man, however, is condemned: "You hypocrite, how can you love God whom you have not seen, if you hate your brother whom you have seen" (1 Jn 4.20). Their linkage is not simply a combination of two great truths taken from two spiritual worlds. Their linkage is the union of two parts of a single whole.
These two commandments are two aspects of a single truth. Destroy either one of them and you destroy truth as a whole. In fact, if you take away love for man then you destroy man (because by not loving him you reject him, you reduce him to non-being) and no longer have a path toward the knowledge of God. God then becomes truly apophatic, having only negative attributes, and even these can be expressed only in the human language that you have rejected. God becomes inaccessible to your human soul because, in rejecting man, you have also rejected humanity, you have also rejected what is human in your own soul, though your humanity was the image of God within you and your only way to see the Prototype as well. This is to say nothing of the fact that a human being taught you in his own human language, describing in human words God's truth, nor of the fact that God reveals himself through human concepts. By not loving, by not having contact with humanity we condemn ourselves to a kind of a deaf-mute blindness with respect to the divine as well. 3

The outlines of her life are becoming better known from Fr Sergei Hackel's biography, Pearl of Great Price, as well as Laurence Varaut's recent life, 4 and essays by Hélène Arjakovsky-Klepinine, Elisabeth Behr-Sigel, Jim Forest among others. 5 Her monastic day consisted of prayer in church but more so the works of lovingkindness for the suffering and forgotten: scavenging for food at bakeries and markets, cooking, listening to her residents' troubles, trying to find them jobs and lodging, and forays in the evenings to cafes in search of the homeless and desperate. Many of the essays from which selections are taken here stem, as Antoine Arjakovsky points out, from an ongoing conflict about what shape the Christian life should take, a debate in which she engaged in print with Fr Sergius Chetverikov, chaplain of the Russian Christians Student Movement. Then as today, her ideas are incendiary. Over against the classical spirituality Fr Chetverikov championed, very traditional in its emphasis on personal prayer rules, asceticism, liturgical services and in particular, the linkage of church, faith and Russian identity, Mother Maria's rebuttal is radical, fearless and with challenging theological arguments. In an essay, "A Justification of Pharisaism," she rejects the subservience of the Church to any political authority, any ethnic or cultural context. 6 She thus condemns the subordination of the Russian Church under not only Peter the Great but all other rulers and governments, the Soviet included. She criticizes the myth of "holy Russia," while at the same time revering the great lights of the Russian tradition. She bases her radical love for the neighbor in the first place, on the Gospels but then on the prophetic example of Nilus of Sora, Sergius of Radonezh, Seraphim of Sarov, on the evangelical poverty of Joseph of Volokholamsk's ideal of "non-possession," of the monasteries serving the poor and suffering. She is polemical about the monastic life of her time: isolation from the world, a comfortable life while many nearly starve, an individualistic pursuit of holiness, obsession with rules and details of tradition, characteristics of Orthodox piety more generally that she examine at length in "Types of religious Lives." 7

Yet she has many constructive contributions, all of them rooted in her vision of the Incarnation as God embracing humanity, with the invitation to us to do the same This affirmative view is to be found in essays such as "The Second Gospel Commandment, "Love without Limits," and very powerfully in her essay "On the Imitation of the Mother of God." 8 The Incarnation, God's becoming human through the Virgin Mary, was her dogmatic foundation. The Incarnation must then be lived out, put into practice by those who bear the name of Christ. In so doing they continue Christ's work. They "Christify," bring all creation into Christ. 9

If a person is not only the image of God but also the image of the Mother of God, then he should also be able to see the image of God and the image of the Mother of God in every other person. In our Godmaternal soul not only is the birth of the Son of God announced and Christ born, but there also develops the keen perception of Christ's image in other souls. And in this sense, the God-maternal part of the human soul begins to see other people as its children; it adopts them for itself... insofar as we must strive to follow her path, and as her image is the image of our human soul, so we must also perceive God and the Son in every person. God, because each person is the image and likeness of God; the Son, because as it gives birth to Christ within itself, the human soul thereby adopts the whole Body of Christ for itself, the whole of Godmanhood, and every person individually. 10

In July, 1942, almost 7,000 Jewish citizens, over 4,000 of these children, were rounded up by the Vichy government as part of the Reich's infamous "solution" of the "Jewish problem." They were held in summer heat at the Velodrome d'Hiver, a cycling stadium in Paris without food and limited water and facilities. Mother Maria was there day and night, bringing food, consoling, according to reports, smuggling out some very young children in garbage pails. One of her chaplains, Fr Cyprian Kern, found her personality and way of life very much at odds with ecclesial tradition, while another, Fr Lev Gillet, recognized in it the very work of Christ and joined her activity. The same was true for her last chaplain, Fr Dimitri Klepinine. And when the Gestapo came to arrest her for hiding Jews in her hostels, they took Fr Dimitri off as well, for he had completed baptismal certificates to protect them and defied the interrogating officer by pointing out Jesus' Jewishness. Both Mother Maria and Fr Dimitri (as well as Iura, her son) died in Nazi camps, the men from dysentery and pneumonia and slave labor, she volunteering to take the place of another woman being sent to the gas chambers on 31 March 1945, Western Holy Saturday, just weeks before Ravensbrück's liberation by the Allies. In 2004 the four were made saints by their church, the archdiocese of the Russian Orthodox Church in Western Europe.

While Mother Maria's urgent sense of the gospel command to love and serve the neighbor might appear to have dominated her activity, this is not accurate. She continued her primary craft of writing, and the YMCA Press in Paris has published volumes of her essays, poems, plays and other pieces. A website has collected photos of Mother Maria as well as of the icons and vestments she embroidered and painted. 11 Her rambunctious personality, nonconformist life and radical dedication to serving the poor seem to be the stuff of which heroes are made. It was not necessarily viewed as such in her own time and milieu. Several of her colleagues who were quite sympathetic and supportive of her efforts at best had mixed feelings about her and her work. To still others she was a scandal, with her explosive demeanor and ragamuffin crew. The nuns who joined her eventually left for a more traditional monastic setting. Few came to her defense when arrested by the Gestapo. Today her writings still evoke criticism and not everyone is able to recognize her as a saint. Metropolitan Anthony (Bloom) of Sourozh has written that in his youth and pride, he was embarrassed by her life and work. Yet, he had the courage to recognize both her idiosyncrasies and her witness, calling her a "saint of our day and for our day."

Footnotes:

1 Maria Skobtsova, "The Mysticism of Human Communion," in Mother Maria Skobtsova: Essential Writings [= MMS:EW] (Maryknoll NY: Orbis, 2002), 78-9.

2 "Under the Sign of Our Time," MMS:EW, 113.

3 "Types of Religious Lives," MMS:EW, 173-174.

4 Mère Marie (Paris : Perrin, 2000)

5 Hélène Arjakovsky-Klepinine, "Le joie du don," in Le sacrement du frère (Paris: Cerf, 2001, 15-69); Elisabeth Behr-Sigel "Mother Maria Skobtsova 1891- 1945," in Discerning the Signs of the Times (Crestwood NY: St Vladimir's Seminary Press, 2001), 41-54; J. Forest, "Mother Maria of Paris," in MMS:EW, 13-42.

6 MMS:EW, 114-120.

7 "Toward a New Monasticism I & II," in MMS:EW, 88- 101.

8 MMS:EW, 43-58, 94-101, 59-72.

9 "Types of Religious Lives," in MMS:EW, 181-184.

10 "On Imitating the Mother of God," in MMS:EW, 68- 69.

11 Cf. http://incommunion.org/?page_id=868. Also http://www.ikons.info/

Fr Richard Rene 10/22/25 Fr Richard Rene 10/22/25

Irreconcilable Differences

It all begins with an idea.

Fr. Richard Rene

January 2010

The title phrase is probably the most often cited reason for modern cases of divorce. It refers to a situation in which two married people discover at some point along the road that they are "not compatible," which means, they don't get along emotionally, spiritually, physically, most of the time.

Let's get something straight to begin with. The Eastern Orthodox Church does permit divorce under circumstances of adultery, abuse, and abandonment. However, divorce on the grounds of "irreconcilable differences" is generally not admissible in marriages between Orthodox Christians.

Why not? I believe it has something to do with the Church's rejection of the underlying secular assumption behind divorce due to "irreconcilable differences." Our culture tends to think of a successful marriage as one in which husband and wife are actually twin souls in different biological clothing. Your "one true love" is that special person who matches you perfectly, who completes you, fulfills you, perfects you, is actually your "other half" and so on.

The Christian understanding of marriage takes a very different view. In chapter five of his Epistle to the Ephesians, St. Paul uses a marital image to speak of the mystery of the Incarnation. The wife's feminine role represents the human nature of Christ, which continues to manifest itself in the Church. (Ephesians 5:22-23) The husband's masculine role, on the other hand, represents the divine nature of Christ the Son and Word of God, who is the head of the Church through the Holy Spirit. (Ephesians 5:25-26) The union of the two genders in one relationship speaks of the one Person of Christ in whom two natures are united. And this union, St. Paul says, is a "great mystery" (Ephesians 5:32) precisely because those natures—the divine and the human—are so completely exclusive and irreconcilable!

What we have here is more than just a theological conundrum. It has real and profound implications for those of who are married and follow the Christian teaching. For one thing, St. Paul tells us that marriage naturally and necessarily exists within a framework of irreconcilable differences. By using husband and wife as an analogy of divine and human, St. Paul in fact shows that far from being twin souls or complementary beings, the genders in marriage are exclusively different.

This fundamental difference is more than just an unfortunate condition of life in a fallen world. It is the very basis of God's providential love for us. The Gospel definition of love is that God gave Himself for that which is completely 'other' than Himself— humanity. And since we are made in the image and likeness of God, our definition of love is expressed in the same way: love is the giving of oneself to and for someone who is utterly different from us.

Inevitably, couples living the secular myth of the 'twin souls' or the 'one true love' finally discover that they really are two different people. When this happens, the result may well be divorce because they can't or won't reconcile the dissimilarities. For couples operating on the assumptions of the Gospel teaching, however, irreconcilable differences in a relationship are not the end, but the very beginning of their calling to show forth the mystery of Christ in their marriage.

When I strive to serve my wife in the absence of personal comfort, convenience, or emotional fulfillment, that act is nothing less than the enactment of the love of Christ "who though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form he humbled himself and became obedient unto death, even death on a cross." (Philippians 2:6-8)

When I seek the good and the life of another when there is nothing in it for me—no completion, no needs met, no emotional climax given—then my love is truly selfless, and as such, truly divine. And the greater the differences between myself and my wife, the brighter Christ shines when we continue to love one another anyway.

Are there any circumstances in which irreconcilable differences can genuinely be cited as the basis for a divorce? Possibly, but I believe that truly irreconcilable relationships are much rarer than we suppose. In a narcissistic, self-gratifying culture, we too easily flee from conflict with others. We try to smooth them over, rationalize them away, ignore them, or simply flee from them. Instead, we should see such disparities for what they really are: the canvas upon which we can illustrate the life-giving marriage between us and our Creator, which was consummated in the first century A.D. on a hill outside Jerusalem, and will be lived out in eternity.

Fr. Richard is the priest-in-charge at St. Aidan of Lindisfarne Orthodox Church in Cranbrook, BC.

Fr Stephen Freeman 10/22/25 Fr Stephen Freeman 10/22/25

Glory to God in the Diocese of the South: Back to the Future

It all begins with an idea.

Fr. Stephen Freeman

August 2009

Almost the first statement from Metropolitan Jonah to the diocese at this year’s assembly was, "The Diocese of the South is the future of the Orthodox Church in America." I took that as one of the most hopeful things I've heard in the last number of years. It is an affirmation of what we are doing now - but also an affirmation of a "future" that was established in the very beginnings of our Diocese.

Three things come most to mind when I hear the stories of our diocese' founding - stories that I have heard fondly recalled particularly by Vladyka Dmitri.

The first is the missionary vision of an indigenous Orthodox Church. Vladyka Dmitri, himself an "adult" convert to the faith, has always expressed a great warmth and enthusiasm for the Church's outreach to the people around us. "I have always gone wherever I was invited," he once told me, and advised me to do the same. It has been a cornerstone of my own missionary work as an Orthodox priest. Our diocese was once unusual for its large number of "converts" to the faith. Today, only one or two members of the Holy Synod can claim to have be born into an Orthodox family while converts make up the largest percentage of our clergy. In this regard - the Diocese of the South has become the present and not just the future of the OCA.

A second thing is a lively commitment to the faith. Orthodoxy is not a "religious option" in a consumerdriven culture: it is the fullness of the faith as given to us in Christ. Were Orthodoxy simply an option from a range of choices - our task would be to provide advertising and consumer information. However, because it is a gift from God and not the creation of man, it is a life to be embraced and lived. The first task of our life as Orthodox Christians has always been to become Orthodox Christians, and to continue becoming. Vladyka Jonah's words to the assembly in Atlanta were precisely a call to that deep life of the faith. He urged us to become "sober" (neptic). In a world driven by the passions, Orthodox Christians must learn to be driven by Christ and Christ alone.

The third thing is a matter which goes to the very founding of the diocese itself. From the beginning it was decided that the Diocese would teach and practice the tithe: returning to God a tenth of what God has given us. For years the diocese stood alone in this commitment and was often seen as unduly "protestant" in its handling of money. (Never-mind the fact that the tithe and the principle of tithing is the only form of stewardship actually taught in the Scriptures.) For a time the diocese also asked for the national assessment (often referred to as the "head tax"). This year the diocese approved a 2010 budget that asks only the tithe - the original commitment of the Churches in the diocese - back to the future.

I pray that the Metropolitan's words are prophetic. For the practice of such biblical principles as the tithe has resulted in the Diocese of the South, despite its lesser membership, having one of the largest incomes of any diocese in the OCA. It is from such abundance that the Diocese can continue to commit 25 percent of its budget to mission and parish development. The parish's stewardship to the diocese is clearly an investment in the lives of parishes within the diocese. The sense of trust and family that is a hallmark of the diocese are deeply related to how we handle money. How we handle money - like every other aspect of the diocese - is deeply related to the Gospel of Christ - as it should be.

The Diocese of the South, by God's grace, may indeed become the future of the OCA. Such a gift will mean that we are remaining faithful to the Godly vision that was given to us in our founding. By God's grace it will mean that the gift God gave to us in our founding was always meant for the whole Church. May God grant us all such a good future and grant many years to all of our diocesan family!

Fr George Morelli 10/22/25 Fr George Morelli 10/22/25

Smart Marriage & the Dangers of Entitlement

It all begins with an idea.

Fr. George Morelli

February 2009

Christian marriage is an exalted vocation. Marriage, as the Apostle Paul taught, replicates the relationship between Christ and the Church where Christ is the Bridegroom and the Church the Bride. Bridegrooms are called to love and care for their bride with selfless commitment. "Husbands love your wives," St. Paul wrote, "as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:21).

Love is relational, and the icon of pure and undefiled love is the relationship between the Persons of the Holy Trinity (Father, Son, Holy Spirit). We catch glimpses of the nature of this love because it overflows to mankind, particularly in the self-sacrifice of Christ on the Cross. St. Paul described this love as kenotic (self-emptying), particularly when Christ forsook the prerogatives of divinity to assume human nature in order to save mankind. The love was so certain, so sure, and so complete, that it led to His death on our behalf.

In Christian marriage, authentic and true love seeks to replicate the type of self-sacrifice Christ revealed to us when He became man and dwelt among us (and which is still expressed today in Christ's faithfulness to His Church). Self-sacrificial love conforms to the Great Commandment to love our neighbor more highly than ourselves in so doing we also love and honor God (Matthew 25:36- 40, 1 John 4:19-21). This kind of love between husband and wife, even if imperfectly practiced and not always realized, constitutes what St. John Chrysostom called the "small church" and as such ensures the health and stability of the family in raising children (Chrysostom, Homily XX).

These lessons are affirmed in the Orthodox wedding service. In one part of the ceremony the Holy Spirit is invoked to: "Unite them in one mind and one flesh, and grant unto them fair children for education in thy faith and fear ... " The spiritual goal of marriage is never divorced from the parental vocation. Love, when properly understood, is always directed toward the neighbor, first to the spouse and then to the children.

The Evil One relentlessly seeks to corrupt the love of Christ. Marriage and family, because of the complexity and immediacy of the social relationship, is a fertile field for such corruption. In case we think the potential for spiritual corruption is overstated, consider that it can happen between Christ and His Church as well. St. Paul reminded the Corinthian church: "I betrothed you to Christ to present you as a pure bride to her one husband. But I am afraid that as the serpent deceived Eve by his cunning, your thoughts will be led astray from a sincere and pure devotion to Christ" (1 Corinthians 11: 2-3). If the Church can defile its communion with Christ, we certainly can defile our communion with one another.

One subtle corruption is the feeling of entitlement (Morelli, 2006a). Entitlement is when the spouse or parent feels they deserve love, companionship, happiness, honesty, obedience, etc. Entitlement works hand in hand with expectations. When an event occurs in which one family member does not feel that others lived up to what was expected of them, feelings of anger and being used result.

From the outset, it should be noted that some events fulfill expectations that are desirable and often good. The problem occurs when the events themselves become a test of whether or not expectations are met. In clinical terms desirable preferences have transformed into demanding expectations where the failure to meet the preferences results in emotions (usually anger) that impairs the ability to attain desirable goals. Often the resolution to this conflict is to change the goals. In fact, what is really needed is a shift in perception from demanding expectations back to desirable goals.

A few examples may help us understand entitlement. A mother feels entitled to love and respect from her daughter: "After all I am her mother." A father feels his son should listen and take his advice: "I am the father; he should listen and do what I tell him." The same is true of a husband and wife: "I am his wife; he should ... " or "I am her husband; she should ... " When family members do not meet our expectations we may feel the right to be angry. Alternatively, we may feel that we are unworthy because our expectations are not met and respond by feeling angry, depressed, etc. Either way, any one consumed by these emotions will not be very good at bringing about the outcomes they would like (Morelli, 2006d).

The key here to understanding entitlement is to see the word "title" imbedded in the larger word. Whenever we make a demand based on our title (eg: father, mother, husband, wife, etc.) we operate from an entitlement perspective. The solution is to realize that a title is no guarantee of specific behaviors.

The antidote to demanding expectations is to develop preferences for and about our family members based on love, that is, preferring the good and welfare of spouse and child, i.e, preferring rather than demanding that children honor their father and mother, or preferring the mutuality of love and respect between spouses. Instead of conceptualizing our expectations in terms of an entitlement, we can frame them as invitation that others may accept in order to help themselves.

Our Lord never forced anyone by using His title. Instead, He recognized that obedience and respect are freely given. In the same way the recognition that all people freely offer obedience and cooperation lifts preferences above a battle of the wills because the demanding expectation is diminished. People often "dig in" when they feel coerced into particular behaviors because they feel they need to save face and protect their selfidentity.

How can spouses and parents forego demanding expectations and still bring about desirable behavior among family members? First of all, spouses and parents are more likely to be effective in bringing about the desirable preferences they seek if they are not consumed by anger and depression. (Morelli, 2005c, 2006c,d). Second, the most effective way of bringing about appropriate family goals is to state the desires clearly and the consequences if the desires are not met (Morelli, 2005b, 2006b). Although Jesus did not use His title to coerce certain behaviors, He was clear about the consequences of heeding or not heeding His words.

Take the example of a child speaking disrespectfully to his father to understand how the lesson of this parable could be applied. In the framework of demanding expectations, the parent could be expected to respond to the disrespect in emotional terms, probably anger perhaps even a tirade because his title of father is not acknowledged properly.

A more measured and ultimately more constructive approach is to step aside from the entitlement and the demanding expectation it engenders and state the problem in terms of desirable expectations. The father could say, "We do not talk like that to one another, you were told before if you said that disrespectful word, you would not be able to watch TV tonight, so tonight there will be no television, tomorrow you can try again." Consequences, not emotional outbursts that result from disappointed entitlements, bring about desirable behavior changes and strengthen family life.

The Orthodox Christian marriage and family vocation is to be a spouse and parent in the imitation of Christ. Entitlement is the subtle work of the Evil One and undermines and may even destroy the unity necessary to meet the goals of this divine vocation. Direct, teach, and most importantly love your spouse and family with intelligence, mercy, forgiveness, in the same way that Christ loves His Church.

Metropolitan Jonah 10/22/25 Metropolitan Jonah 10/22/25

Do Not Resent, Do Not React, Keep Inner Stillness

It all begins with an idea.

by Archimandrite (now Metropolitan) Jonah

October-November 2008

When I was in seminary I had the great blessing of becoming the spiritual son of a Greek bishop, Bishop Kallistos of Xelon. He ended his life as the bishop of Denver of the Greek Archdiocese. It was he who taught me the Jesus Prayer. The whole spiritual vision of Bishop Kallistos had three very simple points.

Do not resent. Do not react. Keep inner stillness.

These three spiritual principles, or disciplines, are really a summation of the Philokalia, the collection of Orthodox Christian spiritual wisdom. And they are disciplines every single one of us can practice, no matter where we are in life – whether we’re in the monastery or in school; whether we’re housewives or retired; whether we’ve got a job or we’ve got little kids to run after. If we can hold on to and exercise these three principles, we will be able to go deeper and deeper in our spiritual life.

Do Not Resent

When we look at all the inner clutter that is in our lives, hearts and souls, what do we find? We find resentments. We find remembrance of wrongs. We find self-justifications. We find these in ourselves because of pride. It is pride that makes us hold on to our justifications for our continued anger against other people. And it is hurt pride, or vainglory, which feeds our envy and jealousy. Envy and jealousy lead to resentment.

Resentfulness leads to a host of problems. The more resentful we are of other people, the more depressed we become. And the more we are consumed with the desire to have what they have, which is avarice. Often we’ll then engage in the addictive use of the substance of the material world – whether it’s food or alcohol or drugs or sex or some other thing – to medicate ourselves into forgetfulness and to distract ourselves from our resentments.

One of the most valuable and important things that we can thus do is look at all of the resentments that we have. And one of the best ways of accomplishing this is to make a life confession. And not just once, before we’re baptized or chrismated. In the course of our spiritual life we may make several, in order to really dig in to our past and look at these resentments that we bear against other people. This will enable us to do the difficult work that it takes to overcome these resentments through forgiveness.

What does forgiveness mean? Forgiveness does not mean excusing or justifying the actions of somebody. For example, saying “Oh, he abused me but that’s O.K., that’s just his nature,” or “I deserved it.” No, if somebody abused you that was a sin against you. But when we hold resentments, when we hold anger and bitterness within ourselves against those who have abused us in some way, we take their abuse and we continue it against ourselves. We have to stop that cycle. Most likely that person has long gone and long forgotten us, forgotten that we even existed. But maybe not. Maybe it was a parent or someone else close, which makes the resentment all the more bitter. But for the sake of our own soul and for the sake of our own peace, we need to forgive. We should not justify the action, but we should overlook the action and see that there’s a person there who is struggling with sin. We should see that the person we have resented, the person we need to forgive, is no different than we are, that they sin just like we do and we sin just like they do.

Of course, it helps if the person whom we resent, the person who offended us or abused us in some way, asks forgiveness of us. But we can’t wait for this. And we can’t hold on to our resentments even after outwardly saying we’ve forgiven. Think of the Lord’s Prayer: “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” If we don’t forgive, we can’t even pray the Lord’s Prayer without condemning ourselves. It’s not that God condemns us. We condemn ourselves by refusing to forgive. We will never have peace if we don’t forgive, only resentment. It is one of the hardest things to do, and our culture does not understand it. It is to look at the person we need to forgive, and to love them – despite how they may have sinned against us. Their sin is their sin, and they have to deal with it themselves. But we sin is in our reaction against their sin.

Do Not React

So this first spiritual principle – do not resent – leads to the second. We must learn to not react. This is just a corollary of “turn the other cheek.” When somebody says something hurtful, or somebody does something hurtful, what is it that’s being hurt? It’s our ego. Nobody can truly hurt us. They might cause some physical pain, or emotional pain. They might even kill our body. But nobody can hurt our true selves. We have to take responsibility for our own reactions. Then we can control our reactions.

There are a number of different levels to this principle. On the most blatant level, if someone hits you don’t hit them back. Turn the other cheek – that’s the Lord’s teaching. Now, this is hard enough. But there is a deeper level still. Because if somebody hits you, and you don’t hit them back – but you resent them, and you bear anger and hatred and bitterness against them, you’ve still lost. You have still sinned. You have still broken your relationship with God, because you bear that anger in your heart.

One of the things which is so difficult to come to terms with is the reality that when we bear anger and resentment and bitterness in our hearts, we erect barriers to God’s grace within ourselves. It’s not that God stops giving us His grace. It’s that we say, “No. I don’t want it.” What is His grace? It is His love, His mercy, His compassion, His activity in our lives. The holy Fathers tell us that each and every human person who has ever been born on this earth bears the image of God undistorted within themselves. In our Tradition there is no such thing as fallen nature. There are fallen persons, but not fallen nature. The implication of this truth is that we have no excuses for our sins. We are responsible for our sins, for the choices we make. We are responsible for our actions, and our reactions. “The devil made me do it” is no excuse, because the devil has no more power over us than we give him. This is hard to accept, because it is really convenient to blame the devil. It is also really convenient to blame the other person, or our past. But, it is also a lie. Our choices are our own.

On an even deeper level, this spiritual principle – do not react – teaches us that we need to learn to not react to thoughts. One of the fundamental aspects of this is inner watchfulness. This might seem like a daunting task, considering how many thoughts we have. However, our watchfulness does not need to be focused on our thoughts. Our watchfulness needs to be focused on God. We need to maintain the conscious awareness of God’s presence. If we can maintain the conscious awareness of His presence, our thoughts will have no power over us. We can, to paraphrase St. Benedict, dash our thoughts against the presence of God. This is a very ancient patristic teaching. We focus our attention on the remembrance of God. If we can do that, we will begin to control our troubling thoughts. Our reactions are about our thoughts. After all, if someone says something nasty to us, how are we reacting? We react first through our thinking, our thoughts. Perhaps we’re habitually accustomed to just lashing out after taking offense with some kind of nasty response of our own. But keeping watch over our minds so that we maintain that living communion with God leaves no room for distracting thoughts. It leaves plenty of room if we decide we need to think something through intentionally in the presence of God. But as soon as we engage in something hateful, we close God out. And the converse is true – as long as we maintain our connection to God, we won’t be capable of engaging in something hateful. We won’t react.

Keep Inner Stillness

The second principle, the second essential foundation of our spiritual life – do not react – leads to the third. This third principle is the practice of inner stillness. The use of the Jesus Prayer is an extremely valuable tool for this. But the Jesus Prayer is a means, not an end. It is a means for entering into deeper and deeper conscious communion. It’s a means for us to acquire and maintain the awareness of the presence of God. The prayer developed within the tradition of hesychasm, in the desert and on the Holy Mountain. But hesychasm is not only about the Jesus Prayer. It is about inner stillness and silence.

Inner stillness is not merely emptiness. It is a focus on the awareness of the presence of God in the depths of our heart. One of the essential things we have to constantly remember is that God is not out there someplace. He’s not just in the box on the altar. It may be the dwelling place of His glory. But God is everywhere. And God dwells in the depths of our hearts. When we can come to that awareness of God dwelling in the depths of our hearts, and keep our attention focused in that core, thoughts vanish.

How do we do this? In order to enter in to deep stillness, we have to have a lot of our issues resolved. We have to have a lot of our anger and bitterness and resentments resolved. We have to forgive. If we don’t we’re not going to get into stillness, because the moment we try our inner turmoil is going to come vomiting out. This is good – painful, but good. Because when we try to enter into stillness and we begin to see the darkness that is lurking in our souls, we can then begin to deal with it. It distracts us from trying to be quiet, from trying to say the Jesus Prayer, but that’s just part of the process. And it takes time.

The Fathers talk about three levels of prayer. The first level is oral prayer, where we’re saying the prayer with our lips. We may use a prayer rope, saying “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me,” or whatever form we use. The next level is mental prayer, where we’re saying the prayer in our mind. Prayer of the mind – with the Jesus Prayer, with prayer book prayers, with liturgical prayers –keeps our minds focused and helps to integrate us, so that our lips and our mind are in the same place and doing the same thing. We all know that we can be standing in church, or standing at prayer, and we may be mouthing the words with our lips but our mind is thinking about the grocery list. The second level of prayer overcomes this problem, but it is not the final level. The final level of prayer is prayer of the heart, or spiritual prayer. It is here where we encounter God, in the depths of our soul. Here we open the eye of our attention, with the intention of being present to God who is present within us. This is the key and the core of the whole process of spiritual growth and transformation.

The Prayer of Stillness

The foundation of the spiritual process is learning to keep inner silence, the prayer of stillness. On the basis of this, we gain insight into how to stop resenting and to stop reacting. Then the process goes deeper and deeper, rooting out our deeply buried resentments and passions, memories of hurt and sin, so that the silence penetrates our whole being. Then we can begin to think clearly, and to attain towards purity of heart.

Before beginning this process, it is important to have an established relationship with a spiritual guide, a father confessor or spiritual mother, to help you. Confession is a central part of the spiritual life, and things that come up in prayer, as well as resolving resentments and other issues, are part of that. It is also valuable to expose obsessive or sinful thoughts to your confessor. Simply exposing them deprives them of their power. We always need to be accompanied on the journey within. Prayer is always a corporate action, leading to the transcendence of our individual isolation into a state of communion with God and the Other.

The Jesus Prayer, “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner,” or some form of it, can be used as a vehicle to help us bring our attention into a prayerful state. The Jesus Prayer states the intention of our prayer, and we use it first verbally and then mentally until it goes beyond word and thought and becomes pure intention in deep silence.

A prayer rope is very helpful to get started, not so much as to count prayers, but to keep the physical level of attention. We say one prayer on each knot, going round and round the rope, until our attention is focused in prayer. Then we can stop moving around the rope, and be still. The rope is not important in and of itself; one can pray just as well without it. It is an aid. Another aid is to follow your breath. What is important is not to get caught up in technique, but to pray.

The Prayer can be said standing, kneeling or sitting. If one is ill, lying down is acceptable; but it is hard to preserve focused attention while lying down. Prayer is not relaxation. It may relax you, but that is not the point. Posture is important to help keep your attention focused. If you’re sitting, it helps to keep your back straight and your shoulders back. One can also be prostrate on the ground, but it takes practice to let go of the physical distractions.

In beginning to pray, remember that God is “everywhere present and filling all things.” In prayer, you make yourself present to God. Open your mind and heart, your awareness of God, so that the sense of God’s Presence fills your consciousness. At first, we may not have a sense of God’s Presence. But the more disciplined our practice of prayer, the more that conscious awareness of God will fill our mind and heart. This is not an image, a thought “that” God is present (though this is a place to start), or a feeling or physical sensation. It is simply an awareness. This is the beginning of spiritual consciousness, where our awareness moves from the head to the heart, and from God as an object to a sense of being rapt in God’s Presence.

How to Enter the Prayer of Stillness

In short, sit down and collect yourself, and remember that God is present. Say the Trisagion Prayers if you wish. Breathe in slowly and deeply a couple of times, following your breath to the center of your chest. Begin to say the Jesus Prayer quietly, slowly, until you have a sense of God’s Presence. Then let the Jesus Prayer trail off, and go into silence. Thoughts will come, but simply let them go by. Don’t let them grab your attention. But if they do, gently dismiss them and bring your focus back to God’s Presence, perhaps using the Jesus Prayer to reestablish your intention to pray. Go deeper within yourself, below the thoughts, into the deeper stillness and awareness of Presence, and simply abide there.

The period of prayer should start out with a few minutes, and may entirely be occupied at first with the Jesus Prayer. Eventually, over a period of weeks or months, as you begin to master keeping your attention focused and dismissing thoughts, let it expand up to twenty or thirty minutes. Two periods of prayer, early in the morning and early in the evening are an excellent discipline.

Surrender and Detachment

The Prayer of Stillness is a process of inner surrender to the Presence and activity of God within yourself. Surrender your thoughts, feelings, emotions, ideas, agendas, plans, images and submit them to the Divine Presence. This is surrender of the ego, and the enkindling of our spiritual awareness. We stop our ego and its thoughts from distracting our attention, and permit God’s energy to work within to heal our souls. This is a kind of active and willful passivity, so that God becomes the active partner in prayer.

It becomes obvious that we cannot hold any kind of rancor or resentment, lust or passion, in our minds while trying to enter into silence. In fact, all our attachments to things, people, concepts and ideas have to be surrendered during silent prayer, and thus, they are brought into perspective. The more we connect with God in prayer, the more detached we become. It is a necessity if we are going to progress in prayer and in communion with God. All things that are obstacles to our living communion fall away, if we let them. The key, of course, is to surrender them and let them go.

The Emptying of the Subconscious

One critically important process that occurs is the emptying of the subconscious. After we have gotten to a point of stillness, over a period of days or weeks, we will be flooded by memories of past hurts, sins, resentments, images and sensations, and wrongs done to us. At first, we feel like we make progress in the prayer, and it is nice and peaceful. Then, with the flood of memories, we feel like we are going backwards. This is progress! It is the beginning of the process of the purification of our soul. It is extremely unpleasant, at times, but the key is to not allow ourselves to react. These memories have been suppressed, and are now coming to awareness so that they can be dealt with. This purification is already the action of grace illumining your soul.

During prayer, make a mental note of the memory or sin, and then take it to confession. Sometimes these memories and the feelings connected with them can be overwhelming. This is why accompaniment on the spiritual journey is so important. You need someone who can encourage and reassure you, as well as help you resolve the issues that come to awareness, and forgive your sins. It is extremely distressing when suppressed memories of abuse and violent emotions come up. It can not only be confusing, but it can dominate our consciousness. We have to deal with these issues, as they come up, in order to be purified and open ourselves to God. This means working through forgiveness, accepting forgiveness, and forgiving ourselves and God.

The Imagination

Another thing that comes up is images, which play on our mind and imagination. There are two main levels here: first, the memory images we have seen that are connected with our passions; the second, images from our imagination. All the images we have ever seen are stored in our brain. They range from the face of our mother from our infancy, and other joyful images, to pornographic and violent images or those who have hurt us. These images are especially powerful if they are attached to some kind of passionate act, of lust or anger. They can be a strong distraction from awareness of God. What is important is to remember that these are just thoughts, memories, and we can dismiss them. They have no power over us that we do not give them. The task is to get beneath them, and let them go, and eventually take them to confession.

The second level of images is what is produced by the imagination. We quiet down, and start to pray, and go into all sorts of imaginal realms, populated by angels, demons, and any and everything else. Many people take this as spiritual vision. But it is not. It is the realm of delusion, and there is nothing spiritual about it. This is especially dangerous if one has a past with hallucinogens and other psychotropic drugs. The task is, first, to stay with the Jesus Prayer. Then, after much practice, go into silence and be absolutely resolute to allow no images, even of Jesus or the saints, into one’s mind during prayer. The imagination is still part of the mind, not the spirit (nous). Even icons are not to be contemplated in an objective sense, bringing the image into the mind. As St John Chrysostom wrote, somewhere, “When you pray before your icons, light a candle and then close your eyes!” The icon is a sacrament of the Presence.

Spiritual work is very serious business. If we do not work through the issues that arise in a healthy way, they can literally drive us crazy.

It takes a deep commitment to the spiritual process, so as not to be distracted by the emptying of our subconscious, and led into despondency or despair. The task is to persevere, and let the process take its course. This means confessing our thoughts and resolving our resentments, and receiving absolution of our sins. Eventually, it works itself through, though it may take months or years to do so. As Metropolitan Anthony Bloom said, somewhere, when it gets too heavy, sit back and have a cup of tea! God is going to be there; it is we who have to work through our issues so we can be present to Him.

Dealing with Resentments

Resentment and reaction are deeply interrelated. Resentment is an impassioned reaction, based on a judgment of a person (or the self), where our passions are ignited. Resentment is a reaction which we hold within ourselves, and allow ourselves to nurture. It comes from and feeds off our passions, from judgment of others. Resentment is judgment and objectification of a person according to his actions which have offended us.

The real key to resolving resentment is to realize that it is not the other person who is causing it, but that it is our own reaction. The actions of the other person may have precipitated the reaction, his words or deeds, his sin; but the reaction to those sins, words or deeds is purely our own.

We can only control what belongs to us; we cannot control another person. It is our decision to allow ourselves to be possessed by our passions and reactions, or to take control over our own lives. It is our decision to take responsibility for our own reactions, or to allow ourselves to be caught in the vicious cycle of blaming the other person, in resentment and selfrighteousness.

Blame and resentment lead nowhere, except to bitterness and unhappiness. They make us into helpless victims, which in turn robs us of the power to take responsibility for ourselves.

Resentment comes when we refuse to forgive someone, justifying ourselves by our self-righteous indignation at being hurt. Some of these hurts can be very deep: abuse, abandonment, betrayal, rejection. Sometimes they can be very petty. We keep turning the hurt over and over in our minds, and refuse let it go by justifying our anger. Then we feel justified in hating or despising the person who hurt us. Doing this, we continue to beat ourselves up with someone else’s sin, and compound the other person’s sin by our own resentfulness. We blind ourselves to our own sin, and focus only on the sin of the other, and in so doing, we lose all perspective.

We have to put things into perspective, and realize that the other person’s actions are only part of the equation, and that our own reaction is entirely our own sin. To do this, we have to move towards forgiveness.

To forgive does not mean to justify the other person’s sin. It does not mean that we absolve the other person— not hold them responsible for their sin. Rather, we acknowledge that they have sinned and that it hurt us. But what do we do with that hurt? If we resent, we turn it against ourselves. But if we forgive, we accept the person for who he is, not according to his actions; we drop our judgment of the person. We realize that he is a sinner just like me. If I am aware of my own sins, I can never judge anyone. We can begin to love him as we love ourselves, and excuse his falling short as we forgive ourselves. It helps when the person who hurt us asks for forgiveness, but it is not necessary. We must always forgive: not only because God forgave us; but also because we hurt ourselves by refusing to forgive.

Our resentments can also be extremely petty. Sometimes we resent because we cannot control or manipulate someone to behave according to our expectations. We become resentful of our own frustration, where the other really had nothing to do with it. All our expectations of other people are projections of our own self-centeredness. If we can let other people simply be who they are, and rejoice in that, then we will have tremendous peace!

We have to be watchful over ourselves, so that we do not allow ourselves to project our expectations on others, or allow resentment to grow within us. This kind of awareness, watchfulness, is nurtured by the practice of cutting off our thoughts and practicing inner stillness. By this, we practice cutting off our reactions, which all start with thoughts. We can come to see what is our own reaction, and what belongs to the other.

Eventually, we see that our judgment of the other is really about ourselves, our own actions, words, attitudes and temptations, which we see reflected in the other person. To face this means to face our own hypocrisy, and to change. If we judge and condemn someone for the same sins, thoughts, words and deeds that we have ourselves, then we are hypocrites. We must repent from our hypocrisy. This is real repentance: to recognize and acknowledge our own sin, and turn away from it towards God and towards our neighbor.

We have to see how our sins distract us from loving our neighbor, and from loving God. Our love of our brother is the criterion of our love of God. St John tells us, How can we love God whom we have not seen, if we can’t love our neighbor whom we can? If you say that you love God and hate your brother, you are a liar. If we love God, then we will forgive our neighbor, as God has also forgiven us.

The conscious awareness of our own reactions and judgments, of our attachment to our passions of anger and our own will, is the first level of spiritual awareness and watchfulness. We have to move beyond self-centeredness (oblivious to others), to becoming self-aware, aware of our own inner processes through watching our thoughts and reactions.

Repentance and Confession

Awareness of our sins and hypocrisy, our short comings and falls, leads us to repentance and the transformation of our life. Repentance, conversion, the transformation of our mind and our life, is the core of the Christian life. Repentance does not mean to beat ourselves up for our sins, or to dwell in a state of guilt and morose selfcondemnation. Rather, it means to confront our sins, and reject and renounce them, and confess them, trying not to do them again.

What this does is, that to the extent we renounce and confess our sins, they no longer generate thoughts, which accuse us or spur passionate reactions. Sometimes we have to confess things several times, because we only repent of, or are even conscious of, aspects of the sin. Things that make us feel guilty, provoke our conscience, or that we know are acts of disobedience all should be confessed. We have to train our conscience, not by memorizing lists of sins, but by becoming aware of what breaks our relationship with God and other people. We need to be conscious of God’s presence, and realize what distracts us from it. These things are sins. Of course, we are experts at deluding ourselves, when we really want to do something, and we know that it is not blessable.

Confession is not only Christ’s first gift to the Church, the authority to forgive sins in His Name; but is one of the most important means of healing our souls. Sins are not sins because they are listed in a book somewhere. They are sins because they break our relationship with God, other people, and distort our true self. Sins are sins because they hurt us and other people. We need to heal that hurt, and revealing the act or thought or attitude takes away the shame that keeps it concealed, and prevents healing. We need to confess the things that we are the most ashamed of, the secret sins which we know are betrayals of our true self. If we don’t confess them, they fester and generate all sorts of despondency, depression and guilt, shame and despair. The result of that is that we identify ourselves with our sins. For example, same-sex attraction becomes gay identity. Failure in some area becomes a general self-identification with being a failure.

What is critically important is that we are not our sins, thoughts or actions. These things happen, we sin, have bad thoughts and do wicked and evil things. But we are not our thoughts or actions. Repentance means to stop and renounce not only the actions, but to renounce the identity that goes with it. Thoughts are going to come. But we can learn, through practicing inner stillness, to let our thoughts go. They will still be there, but we can learn to not react to them, and eventually, simply to ignore them.

The process of purifying our self is hard and painful, at first; but becomes the source of great joy. The more we confess, honestly and nakedly, the more we open ourselves to God’s grace, and the lighter we feel. Truly the angels in heaven (and the priest standing before you bearing witness to the confession) rejoice immensely when a person truly repents and confesses their sins, no matter how dark and heinous. There is no sin so grievous that it cannot be forgiven. NOTHING! The only sin not forgiven is thinking that God cannot forgive our sin. He forgives. We have to forgive our self, and accept His forgiveness.

Preparing for confession is an important process. It means to take stock of our life, and to recognize where we have fallen, and that we need to repent. The following should help to prepare for confession, but it is not a laundry list. Rather, it should help to spur our memory, so that we can bring things to consciousness that we have forgotten. It is more of an examination of conscience.

The Passions: Gluttony, lust, avarice; anger, envy, despondency; vainglory, pride. The Commandments: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind; and love your neighbor as yourself.

Loving God

Do I love God? Do I really believe in God, or just go through the motions?

Do I pray, and when I do, do I connect, or is it just mechanical? Do I rush through prayers, Scripture readings, and spiritual literature? Do I seek the will of God in all things? Do I rebel against what I know to be God’s will, and the Christian life? Do I try to be obedient, and constantly surrender my life to God?

Do I go to church, go to confession and communion regularly, keep the fasts?

Do I try to be conscious of God’s Presence, or not?

Do I try to sanctify my life? Or do I give in to temptation easily? Thoughtlessly?

Loving our Neighbor

How do I treat the people around me? Do I allow myself to judge, criticize, gossip about or condemn my neighbor? Do I put people down? Do I look for their faults? Do I condescend and talk down to others?

Do I treat others with kindness, gentleness, patience? Or am I mean, rough and nasty?

Do I try to control others, manipulate others?

Do I regard others with love and compassion?

Do I bear anger or resentments against others? Hatred, bitterness, scorn?

Do I use and objectify others for my own pleasure or advantage? For sex, for profit, or for anything else which de-personalizes him/her?

Do I envy and bear jealousy towards my neighbor? Do I take pleasure in his misfortunes?

Do I act thoughtlessly, oblivious to the feelings or conscience of the other? Do I lead my neighbor into temptation intentionally? Do I mock him or make fun of him?

Do I honor the commitments I have made? Marriage vows? Monastic vows? Do I honor my parents? Am I faithful in my relationships? Do I have stability in my commitments? Am I conscious of how my words and actions affect others?

Have I stolen anything, abused or hurt anyone? Have I committed adultery? Have I injured or killed someone?

Do I covet other people’s things? Do I lust after possessions or money? Does my life revolve around making money and buying things?

Loving Our Selves

How am I self-centered, egotistical, self-referenced?

Do I take care of myself, physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually? Am I obsessed about my self, my image, my appearance, my desires and agenda?

Do I indulge in laziness? Do I get despondent, depressed, despairing?

Do I beat myself up, indulge in self-hatred or self-pity? Do I injure myself? Do I have low self-esteem, or think myself worthless?

Do I blame other people for my reactions? Do I feel myself a victim? Do I take responsibility for my own reactions and behaviors?

Do I engage in addictive behaviors, abusing alcohol, food, drugs, sex, pornography, masturbation? How do I try to console myself when I’m feeling down?

Do I have anger and resentment, rage, and other strong emotions and passions suppressed within me? Do I act out on them? How do they affect my behavior? Can I control them or do I abuse other people?

Am I conscious of how my words affect people?

How am I a hypocrite? Can I face my own hypocrisy? Am I lying to and deluding myself?

Do I have a realistic idea of myself? Am I honest with myself and others? What kind of façade do I put up?

Have I done things which I don’t want to or am too ashamed to admit? Abuse of others or animals, incest, homosexual acts, perverse actions? Have I abused drugs, sex or other things which I don’t want to acknowledge? Am I afraid that I am those things—an alcoholic, drug addict, gay, child abuser? Am I afraid to confess them? Can I forgive myself for these things? What do I feel guilty about? Does guilt control my life? Am I being faithful to myself, to God, to others? Does my life have integrity?